A bone to pick with Obama

No doubt this post will annoy some Obama supporters. A few years ago I would have been reluctant to anger so many people that I count as friends. After all, I voted for Obama. I understood why so many were drawn to Obama's sermon of hope and change. I watched the inauguration with tears in my eyes, naively confident that our newly elected African-American president would shake up the status quo feverishly defended by rich greedy white men. I mean--he was a community planner--he actually helped poor people! What other president in recent memory had actually made a living by helping the poor and downtrodden? I had reason to hope--or so I thought.

But now I no longer care if I rock the boat. Sounds harsh, I know, but something has fundamentally changed in my personality since dealing with these immigration issues. I have glimpsed how utterly lost and maligned our country has become. It's bad enough that we have ignorant and clinically disturbed politicians in office, that people are detained without ever having committed a crime,that we-- the richest nation in the world-- cannot afford a national health care system, that our elected officials won't take care of our veterans and wounded solders, and despite the irresolute commitment to improving our education system we have declared war on teachers while simultaneously slashing school budgets. If that isn't madness, then I obviously don't know what is.

We have become a spoiled, callous and corrupt nation. Even more egregious is how many of us collude with this depravity by embracing a collective rational that engenders silence and denial of the chaos, madness and injustice that permeates our country. We become subsumed into political scandals, celebrity mishaps,a myriad of frivolous pursuits and the long expired (if ever it really existed) myths of American exceptionalism, entitlement and moral superiority.

Obama, in my estimation, has been a huge disappointment. I could easily hold him solely responsible for grievous errors committed against the most vulnerable in our country. These errors include renewing the Patriot Act, the raids and arrests of non violent activists, his proclamation that the government can spy on Americans by intercepting any calls made internationally, his implementation of the National Emergencies Act which allows him to revoke Habeas corpus for any American who is deemed an enemy combatant,etc, etc, etc..

Especially noxious is Obama's reluctance to implement any real push to initiate immigration reform--a campaign promise. He has said that despite having the means to offer relief to individual families dealing with detention and separation he is reluctant to do so because "we are a nation of laws." Bah humbug. We are a nation of laws that favors the wealthy and powerful. For the rest of us we live with inequity everyday.

While any of those listed reasons could be the apex of my disappointment there is another, more profound reason for my lamentation. You see, I believed in Obama's rhetoric because I still believed that the office of the President still held some power. I believed that the President had the ability, within certain limitations, to correct injustices against the people. I believed that the integrity of the President still helped to shape the nation and subsequently the laws that governed that nation.

However, I now realize that the real power in Washington is governed by lobbyists, and particularly shaped by the wealthy corporate lobbying machine. In essence, The President is a figure-head and only acts in accordance with the will of the corporations. The two party system is irrelevant. Both parties are corporate whores.

I could hold Obama solely responsible for these misdeeds, but that would be a mistake. Essentially, Obama is at the mercy and the whims of wealthy corporations--just as the rest of us. He has little autonomy. It now occurs to me that perhaps I was too hard and critical of George W. Bush during his presidency. He had as little autonomy as Obama. I still don't feel that Bush was very astute but maybe he wasn't the evil man that I thought he was. He was just a puppet on a string.

I do have a bone to pick with Obama and here it is: my biggest disappointment is that he undermined my belief in the American political system. I can never go back to the naive bliss of blind faith. Perhaps, in the end...that is a good thing.

An immigrant like me

I've been reading a lot this summer which, like everything else, has a positive and negative bent. The positive is that I've learned quite a bit--particularly about the history of immigration in America. The negative means that time devoted to artwork has diminished in favor of spending a majority of my time reading.

This reading–frenzy is the result of a challenge posed to me by one of my professors late spring semester. I was lamenting over the fact that I could not find sufficient information explaining why my husband's immigration situation has been so difficult.

My professor suggested that instead of asking "why" this has happened, I should try asking "how." What a difference one little word can make! "Why" is a question not always answerable because asking the question "why" denotes determining internal causes: and that can be nearly impossible. “Why” demands illuminating psychological and emotional responses of individuals and groups--no easy task. But restructuring the question and asking "how” changes the focus and inspires an investigation of root causes, history and significant events that have influenced the situation”. As a result, I've been reading a lot about American culture, immigration history, racism, and white nationalism.

There is one book; in particular, that has made a lasting impression on me this summer. The book is entitled: Black like Me by John Howard Griffin. Briefly, the book is about a white Southern man who found rampant discrimination of blacks in the Jim Crow era of the 1950's morally repugnant. He decided that to completely understand the trials blacks contend with on a daily basis he would need to become black himself. The book outlines the disparity, discrimination, naked hatred and humiliation he suffers as he travels across The South as a black man.

Despite this book being published in the 1960’s, the essence of the book continues to be relevant in today’s world. Not only to blacks who still face rampant institutionalized racism but also to Hispanics and other immigrants being demonized in the current incarnation of xenophobia. In an eerie prediction of future racial strife and increasing xenophobia—not only in The South but throughout contemporary American society, John Howard Griffin states:

“The Negro. The South. These are details. The real story is the universal one of men who destroy the souls and bodies of other men (and in the process destroy themselves) for reasons neither really understands. It is the story of the persecuted, the defrauded, the feared and detested. I could have been a Jew in Germany, a Mexican in a number of states, or a member of any “inferior” group. Only the details would have differed. The story would be the same.” – John Howard Griffin

I am particularly struck by the phrase “a Mexican in a number of states”. How poignant such a phrase is, for an era—a state; Arizona-- that is trying to sanction passing a law that clearly discriminates against a specific part of a marginalized population. Just like the Jim Crow laws did in the period of 1920’s-1960’s, the SB 1070 law mandates a different set of rules and expectations for certain groups and sets up the sanctioning of increased forms of dehumanization, exploitation and vulnerability.

It occurs to me, that it would be interesting if someone would follow John Howard Griffin’s moral example and attempt to walk in a Hispanic—or any undocumented immigrants shoes-- and experience the degradation, isolation and dehumanization for just one day. I surmise it would be very illuminating.

For a change: good news coming from Arizona

Good news! Believe me, for pro-immigrant activists and people who support human rights, this is the kind of news we want and need to hear.

Federal Judge Sue Bolton of Phoenix Arizona has blocked key controversial items from going forward on July 29th: the date the controversial SB 1070 was to go into effect!

I won't go into all the details. You can read it in the link I will supply at the end of this post from the New York Times. I just want to say I am very proud to be an American today. I had a hard time believing that the judge would block SB 1070 because of all anti-immigrant hoopla being promoted in the media . Common sense and an allegiance to the principles in the Constitution apparently trumped hatred and fear.

For that I am grateful. Let's hope these principles stand firm in the midst of probable appeals.

Embracing my inner eccentric

There is a book entitled Eccentrics by David Weeks. I have not personally read it but I did peruse a blog post that mentioned it. In fact, the blogger included an excerpt written by Weeks that lists 15 traits of an eccentric. I found the list fascinating because many of the traits apply to me. The list can be found below with my comments added in bold :


•Nonconforming: YES

•Creative: YES

•Strongly motivated by curiosity: Absolutely

•Idealistic: wants to make the world a better place and the people in it happier: This definitely describes me

•Happily obsessed with one or more hobbies: Yeah, definitely

•Aware from early childhood that he/she is different: YES

•Intelligent: YES

•Opinionated and outspoken, convinced that he is right and that the rest of the world is out of step: Opinionated yes; outspoken, not usually—but as I get older I am becoming more so. The second part I plead the 5th.

•Noncompetitive, not in need of reassurance or reinforcement from society: Definitely non-competitive

•Unusual in his eating habits and living arrangements: Not so much

•Not particularly interested in the opinions or company of other people, except in order to persuade them to his the correct - point of view: True to an extent. I am interested in certain people’s company and in people who have informed opinions rather than those who structure their belief systems around cultural conditioning and emotional reactions-- exclusive of rational thinking. As a rule; I do not follow the herd mentality and prefer spending time with creative or unusual people with original ideas.

•Possessed of a mischievous sense of humor: YES

•Single: No, but I did not get married until I was 37

•usually the eldest or an only child: Only child

•Bad speller: Guilty as charged.


Since grade school, I have always recognized myself as somewhat of a misfit. I never had a problem making friends: although they usually came from the margins of “popularity central”. This meant that I befriended the artists, poets, punks, intellectuals, introverts, and other people outside the dominate society.

I intrinsically knew, even from a young age, that my opinions, beliefs and life experiences were somehow different from the majority of my classmates. For awhile, I attributed that to my introverted nature, but I may need to tweak that understanding a bit and just decide to embrace my inner eccentric!

As a result, I should not be surprised to find myself in love with and married to an immigrant: nor should it be surprising that I am committed to fighting the discriminatory system that has deemed my husband disposable, deportable-- and continues to stifle him within a soft cage of institutionalized xenophobia.

Additionally, it is not shocking to find myself in the minority when it comes to rallying for immigrant rights and immigration reform. Nor is it out of character for me to be vehemently opposed to a dehumanizing, unconstitutional and evil law as SB 1070. The herd mentality I mentioned before requires a blind allegiance to-- and a fervent belief in the unquestioned moral righteousness of assigned leaders, media moguls and law makers/ enforcement. I have no such illusory concepts.

So, as one of the greatest minds of American literature once stated: “Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.” Mark Twain

I completely agree! 'Cos just because it's popular doesn't make it healthy, moral or just.

Let me introduce you to......

….John Tanton. A retired, small town ophthalmologist, John Tanton’s appearance is not particularly extraordinary or noteworthy. His interests include botany, conservationism and environmentalism. No one would guess that he regularly fraternizes with white nativists, neo- Nazis and white supremacists.. Regardless of this innocuousness, John Tanton is an unapologetic white nationalist.

According to Wikipedia-“White nationalism advocates a racial definition of national identity, as opposed to multiculturalism. The contemporary movement is a reaction to a perceived decline in white demographics, politics and culture.” According to Samuel Francis, it is ‘a movement that rejects equality as an ideal and insists on an enduring core of human nature transmitted by heredity.’"

Samuel Huntington elaborates:, “Rather than espouse violence, they use statistics and social science data to argue for a self-conscious white identity.[ They say a natural hierarchy should triumph over the ‘false promise of egalitarianism’- and that the downfall of white dominance spells doom for representative government, the rule of law and freedom of speech.”

“Supporters say they stand for racial self-preservation and claim culture itself is a product of race. As a result, according to Huntington, they say the demographic shift in the U.S. towards non-whites brings a new culture that is intellectually and morally inferior. With it comes affirmative action, immigrant ghettos and declining educational standards. By challenging established policy on immigration, civil rights and racial integration, they seek to build bridges with moderately conservative white citizens.”

Now, I am not going to waste time identifying the inconsistencies, analytical errors and racist ideology of eugenics,” natural” hierarchy, and the illusion of a invariable white identity. Instead, I am concerned with illuminating John Tanton’s influence on anti-immigration rhetoric in this country. He has been an integral force for enacting the harsh and stringent immigration laws of the last fourteen years and has fuelled the conflated moral panic directed against legal and illegal immigrants in this country—and based his conclusions on unsubstantiated statistics.

Additionally, I won’t enlist the contemporary tendency to cloak the ugly face of racism with artificial, cosmetic concealment in order to make it palatable to the general public. Despite rants to the contrary, white nationalists are racist-- in every abhorrent characteristic of the term. A snake is a snake regardless of the semantics he may use to disguise his identity.

As a proponent of white nationalism, John Tanton established the largest and arguably most influential anti-immigrant group in the country called FAIR. The goal of FAIR is to restrict and significantly curtail immigration, particularly from those of the southern hemisphere. While their website seems innocuous enough, the underlying goal of FAIR is the banishment of all supposedly--unassimiable black and brown immigrants from this country, and the subsequent re-establishment of America as a predominately white nation.

In fact, the recently passed Arizona law SB 1070 was formed, written and implemented by John Tanton along with other well known white nationalist: including Arizona senator Russell Pearce and Kris Kobach. John Tanton also had a hand in shaping the Arizona law that prohibits ethnic studies from being taught in public schools.

So, the next time someone asks me if I think the Arizona law SB 1070 is racist, I can unequivocally, confidently and vehemently shout YES………absolutely yes!!

Immigrant rights activism

As a result of connecting with other U.S. citizens whose significant other has been deported or detained, I have decided that I need to do something productive. There are far too many of us going through this tragedy. This needless suffering must come to an end! There are various ideas floating in my head, and I’m sure you have ideas too. We need to communicate with each other and brainstorm like crazy—and come up with ways to educate the public.

One idea I’ve been pondering involves borrowing an idea from our AIDS activist friends and creating a quilt that depicts the names of loved ones who have been deported or under deportation proceedings. This idea involves getting together a significant number of interested individuals willing to help create the quilt. Ideally, each person would agree to create a square of their loved one—or someone they know. Individuals who do not personally know anyone deported will still be welcome to participate. We can assign them a name. There is certainly not a shortage of people being deported and families being separated-- and the numbers increase every year.

Preferably, each quilt square would be created with materials that are durable. We want this quilt to be a testament to our determination to end these deportations—so it must be created to endure for decades. The idea is to send this quilt, upon completion, to various galleries and functions across the country to help raise awareness.

I have years of experience in needlework, sewing and designing so I am capable and willing to help coordinate the effort. If anyone else has similar experience, motivation or just passion please let me know. This group, unlike the contemporary functioning of our government-- will be a democratically organized community.
However, you don’t have to be an artist, designer or even be creative to make a quilt square. All that is needed is a willingness to learn and be spontaneous. I can help anyone who needs advice and can even design specific motifs. I’m sure there will be others willing to assist as well.

I do sincerely believe that art can change social consciousness. Art activists the world over are working diligently to help improve their communities. Right this minute there are thousands of activists, artists and performers who have congregated in Detroit to forge a different world. Change is not only possible, it is necessary.
Change begins with an idea—activists take those ideas and make them a reality. Let us be the immigrant rights activists who change the world for the better. If you are interested please contact me.

I can be reached on Facebook under the name Beth Brotherton, Hamilton College or at e-mail: silverwing6700@yahoo.com If you know of anyone else who may be interested please feel free to forward this message. Please, if you have any additional ideas let me know. I want to help forge a strong and unified community so we can help each other.

Another trip to Albany

This past Monday we travelled once again to Albany New York and paid a visit to the office of Homeland Security. After being kept waiting for hours during some of our previous visits we decided that we weren't ever going to give them the opportunity to detain us for an entire day--so we now arrive around 2:00-3:00 PM. That gives Homeland Security only 1-2 hours of our time to waste before the office closes at 4 in the afternoon.

We were not left waiting very long on this particular visit. After only about 10 minutes Khalid's deportation officer came out. Curiously, she came right out and sat opposite us in the waiting room. She usually meets us in the waiting room, however, it was curious that she sat down. Normally she stands up when she speaks to us.

She seemed very relaxed and spoke in a casual manner. She told us that there were no new developments. They haven't procured the travel documents and it was unlikely that they would. She even added that the Indian consulate won't even return her phone calls. I thought it very curious that she divulged that bit of information.

She asked about Khalid's work permit and he mentioned that he had received it. Then she turned to me and started asking me about my work. I wasn't inclined to maintain a long conversation--why? Well..because conversing with a deportation officer is akin to speaking to a police officer while you are under arrest: "anything you say can and will be held against you..." It's best to keep answers short and sweet.

Another curious thing occurred at the end of the meeting. She told us that if it was necessary, to come back in six months. Then she warmly shook my husband's hand and then my hand and said take care.

We were both shocked because she had never shook our hands before but had always maintained a professional, assertive and detached demeanor. My husband and i spent a substantial portion of the drive back to Utica contemplating these strange happenings. We both agreed it felt as if she was saying goodbye--but why?

Was she planning on leaving Homeland Security? It is no secret that employees who work for Homeland Security have low job satisfaction.

Are they going to be transferring Khalid to a Syracuse office? She has mentioned that its a possibility that a DHS/ICE office may be opening up in Syracuse.

Or does she have an inclination that the waiver may be approved? She did mention that the excludability waiver has the best chance of being approved.

We will just have to wait to find out. In the meantime Khalid and I will look forward to the upcoming Summer season without having to fear separation. That is a blessing beyond measure!

Acknowledging prejudice

I recently had a discussion with a friend about acknowledging the fact that all of us have certain prejudices. Just a few hours later I saw a similar posting on a blog that I regularly follow. It's funny how often synchronicity occurs during my life! As I've gotten older, I like to think I've gotten wiser and have learned to make a mental note of these curious occurrences.

Incidentally, I remember a lecture given by a professor years ago. I don't remember what class it was , but it was likely a philosophy or sociology class. The subject was about uncovering your internal prejudices. The professor explained that we all have prejudices--against certain people, races, ethnicity's or even people with certain religions affiliations. No one is immune. It takes a substantial amount of soul searching and honest assessment for a person to unveil their internal prejudices simply because they are covered over by cultural conditioning that we rarely question.

I'll give a personal example--I never knew that I had a bias against Muslim men. I didn't know that I had this prejudice until I met Khalid. My ideas about Muslim men were shaped by American culture and particularly the Western media which normally portrays Muslim men as being controlling, uncivilized, irrational and prone to violence. One such movie that incorporated all of these misconceptions is entitled Not Without my Daughter starring Sally Fields. The following synopsis is taken from the following website:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102555/plotsummary

"Moody" is an Iranian doctor living in America with his American wife Betty and their child Mahtob. Wanting to see his homeland again, he convinces his wife to take a short holiday there with him and Mahtob. Betty is reluctant, as Iran is not a pleasant place, especially if you are American and female. Upon arrival in Iran, it appears that her worst fears are realized: Moody declares that they will be living there from now on. Betty is determined to escape from Iran, but taking her daughter with her presents a larger problem. "

As can be imagined, Moody, the Muslim man portrayed in the story is the worst example of masculinity. He completely dominates his American wife, beats her, forbides her to go anywhere without him and ultimately locks her in the apartment. I remember being horrified that a man could treat his wife in such a way.

This movie had a profound influence on me and how I view Muslim men. I didn't realize this until I met Khalid and he told me he was Muslim. Instantly, that movie began to play in my head, along with numerous other stereotypes we as Americans are indoctrinated in. I hesitated in fear for a moment, wondering if it was wise for me to get involved with this man.

Luckily, I rose above my prejudice and got to know Khalid. What I found was a man who shattered all my previous conceptions about Muslims. Khalid is thoughtful, easy going, open-minded, kind, patient, peaceful and certainly non-violent. My personal experience in getting to know and love Khalid has allowed me to rise above my previously held bias against Muslim men. My life has been made all the richer because of it.

In conclusion, my wish for everyone who reads this blog is to get to know someone who shatters your prejudice. Whatever bias you hold, I sincerely hope that you allow someone into your life that challenges that stereotype. The truth is, no one should be limited by stereotypes and cultural conditioning. We are so much more than the labels placed upon us. We can learn and grow so much more by letting people into our lives, rather than barricaded them outside.

A Request from Homeland Security

We received a letter from Homeland Security yesterday. I was the "lucky" one to first spot it in our mail box because Khalid was working late. After a long day at work the last thing you want to see in your mailbox is something from The Department of Homeland Inefficiency. Surprisingly, they weren't as inefficient as I would have liked: we just filed the adjustment of status papers two weeks ago. Darn, why can't government agencies live "down" to their reputations?

Just a mere glimpse of the Homeland Security logo filled my heart with trepidation. There's really no way to describe it. It's one of those things that unless you've been through it, you can't really understand the different levels of fear the human mind can conjure within a split second!

I get the same feeling when we go to the Homeland Security offices in Albany. All Homeland Security offices look like prisons. and of course, the militarized touch pad bolts on the doors don't exactly give the place a warm homey feel. I guess a hand embroidered welcome sign, a tea cozy and lace doilies are not staples in the Homeland Security yearly budget? 'Tis a shame...they get so much money might as well live it up a little.

My hands shook slightly as I reached for the "letter of doom". I was afraid they had decided to reject our adjustment request. So, I was relieved-- when Khalid came home and opened the letter-- to find they were only requesting additional information. Phew!!

They were requesting two things. One is to get some medical testing and vaccinations from a Homeland Security approved doctor. (I guess that Homeland Security sanctioned doctors are the only ones qualified to do such routine examinations--or, more likely,they are the only ones who can botch them up!)

The other request may be a trifle more problematic. They were requesting Khalid's birth certificate. When Khalid was born, India was not issuing birth certificates. Great! So now, Khalid has to prove that India did not issue birth certificates at that time, which shouldn't be difficult. DHS "should" already know that anyways.

Khalid has contacted his Father so he can sign a notarized statement about the lack of a birth certificate and stating that Khalid was born in India, when and where. Additionally, his brother is contacting the Indian embassy to see what they can provide. Ho-hum..there's tons more fun where that came from!

So, stay tuned to find out what else arises. Whatever it is, it will no doubt be an adventure!

Shelving immigration reform

Recently I’ve seen a lot of headlines in the news that proclaim President Obama is shelving immigration reform until 2010. He has said it was more important to get health care reform on track and to deal with energy issues before any meaningful work is done on immigration reform.

To say I am disappointed is an understatement. I had voted for Obama, at least in part, because he promised that immigration reform would be a priority during the first year of his administration. I had hoped that he would at least implement some sort of dialogue about the Family Reunification Act: an amendment to current immigration law statutes which would allow an immigrant facing deportation to stay in The United States if they have a spouse or children who are U.S. citizens. This sounds like a reasonable and prudent law and one that should have never been changed.

Obviously, the passing of this law would help Khalid and I and thousands of couples like us. Now, our hopes are dashed because we don’t think we can wait until next year for immigration reform. Witnessing the quagmire of the current debate about health care reform and the resulting unpleasantness of the entire process, I surmise that immigration reform will be even more difficult to procure.

There are many people who are against immigration reform—or at least any reform that would help immigrants. Unfortunately, I find that the majority of people who are against it are not sufficiently aware of the bigger picture. This is where I want to make a difference. As a result of my blog, I get the sense that I have made changes in a few people’s opinions and this is satisfying—but I don’t feel I am doing enough. I need to reach more people and I’m not sure how to do this.

I would love to make more speeches, but so far the venues I have been in have been small. I feel stuck. If anyone has any ideas about how I can get my message out, please contact me. I will seriously consider any suggestions

Melancoly Monday

There are nights when I go to bed, that I wish I wouldn’t wake up. It’s a rare event, but still happens when my optimism is running low. These feelings scare the heck out of me...and they make me fear that I am not handling this situation as well as I hoped.

But, maybe I’m not that unusual. I witnessed a casual conversation between two co-workers today who expressed similar feelings after relating some difficulties in their lives. Life is full of problems and pitfalls—especially in these transformative and uncertain times. Sometimes the burdens seem too great—even for people who seem to have it all together.

Anyways, last night was one of those nights I wish I wouldn’t wake up the next morning. Nothing in particular was responsible for my sad mood. I just started to obsess about losing Khalid. I was exceptionally tired —perhaps that was enough to unleash the melancholy.

Even though I try to hide my melancholy moods from Khalid he always senses when something is wrong. We went to bed at our normal time, turned off the lights and chatted for a few minutes. I fell silent after awhile. He pulled me into his arms and asked if anything was wrong. I said no—but I lied. I felt bad about lying to him--especially since I know he sees through my disguise.

Even if I wanted to explain, or had the words to express myself I knew I couldn’t. There was no way I could add to his already substantial burden. How can I tell him my fears and doubt when he is holding tightly to the last hope we have? How can I speak about my weaknesses when he is so full of strength and life? He will be the one forced to leave and go to a strange land he hasn’t seen since he was a small boy. I get to stay behind in familiar surroundings—but without him.

It’s hard to explain these complex feelings. Khalid is the only rock solid relationship I’ve ever had. He understands me and puts up with my moods. He has given me the strength to do so many things that I didn’t think I was capable of. Because of his support I was able to go back to college and learn how to write from my heart--regardless of what anyone else thought.

Without him, I would not be in the place I am now—which despite the immigration fiasco —is still the best place I’ve ever been. The fact is--despite all my faults Khalid is still there to comfort and love me—as I am. With Khalid there are no ulterior motives, no manipulation: he never expects anything more from me other than my love and acceptance. I’ve never experienced that before in my life.


This self-pity is pure selfishness...I know. There are still plenty of things to look forward to. There are college courses, creating more paintings, sharing laughs with friends, having a successful business,writing endless papers and more blog entries to create. There are movies to see, birthday parties to attend and trips to take. In particular, there’s the hope of a day when Khalid will have his green card and have the opportunity to participate fully and freely in American society. Like a small child awaiting Christmas-- I wait impatiently for that day.


These are all hopeful prospects and I am blessed to have them. But what fills me with the most dread is the possibility that Khalid and I will never be reunited. There will be no more movies, no more birthday parties and no more trips—taken with him. If that fear should ever become a reality, on that night when I go to bed; I will not want to wake up the next morning.

A Distinction Between Aliens

Few people realize that there exists a distinction in immigration law between different types of “illegal aliens”. The media tends to lump all aliens together. Not all aliens are created—or defined equally in the quagmire known as the U.S. immigration judicial system.

As a result of the contemporary wave of xenophobia all “illegal” aliens are criminalized-- even those immigrants who overstay their VISA’s which is legally considered a civil violation. James Sensenbrenner, a U.S. Representative explains in the following quote:

"...under current law, illegal entry into the United States makes an alien subject to a Federal criminal misdemeanor with a maximum penalty of 6 months in prison. However, unlawful presence itself, such as by overstaying a visa, is not a criminal offense, but only a civil ground of inadmissibility...

This distinction really doesn’t make a big difference because both violations are treated the same way in the courts and are likely to end in deportation. The only observable difference is that criminal violations can result in jail time-- which translates into wasteful spending of millions of taxpayer dollars.

Additionally, trials for immigrants, who commit both criminal and civil violations, follow the same scenario. Whether the immigrant has committed a civil or criminal violation they must come before an immigration judge in a separate court system run by the Department of Justice.

The immigration judge conducts the entire trial. He is judge, jury and executioner. The only other people within the room are the accused immigrant, and-- if the immigrant can afford one: an immigration lawyer. The immigration judge asks questions, determines whether the alien qualifies for some form of relief or asylum status. Otherwise, the deportation mandate is normally reinstated or is handed out.

There is no jury-- nor is legal counsel available for the immigrant unless the immigrant can afford one. Consequently, many immigrants are unable to afford legal counsel and are compelled to defend themselves. As imagined, this can be nearly impossible for an immigrant who doesn’t speak English or doesn’t understand American culture.

Additionally, immigration law is very complicated and changes constantly. Most Americans find it difficult navigating in the tumultuous seas of immigration law, imagine how impossible it would be for an immigrant to stay afloat?

Proceedings in immigration court are distinctly different than those conducted in criminal courts. Whereas there are certain safeguards put in place to protect the accused, no such protections are extended to immigrants. Basically, once the accused is charged with a criminal or civil violation of immigration law, it is up to the accused to prove they are innocent.

The idea of “innocent until proven guilty” does not apply in immigration courts. Furthermore, in the past, immigration judges were allowed some leniency in handing out deportation mandates, depending on individual mitigating circumstances. This is no longer true. Judges are now compelled by law to hand out deportations no matter what the circumstances are--unless the alien qualifies for some sort of relief. The granting of relief and the approval of asylum status is rarely meted out.

There has been a movement within conservative groups to make overstay a criminal violation as well. The following excerpt, taken from Deseret News in Utah on 12/30/2005 explains further:

"Right now, illegal aliens are in violation of immigration regulations. Freeway speedsters are bigger scofflaws. But to jack unlawful residency violations up to felonies shows not only callousness, but a lack of imagination on the part of lawmakers. It also displays a complete lack of understanding of the havoc the move will create. If the House has its way, when the student visa of a father of four from India expires, when a tourist from England overstays her welcome or a contracted worker from Colombia doesn't get his papers renewed on time, they become 'desperadoes' -- desperate criminals on a par with the thugs who rob liquor stores at gunpoint. Please. The only desperate souls here are the lawmakers who choose to throw good people in the clink and throw up their hands because they are bankrupt of ideas."

Making overstay a criminal violation poses many problems for lawmakers, not the least of which is determining where to house a substantial influx of more immigrant “criminals”. Maybe we should just reopen Alcatraz for all the immigrants who have suddenly been rendered “dangerous criminals” of the highest order.

It will be interesting to observe how these lawmakers are going to convince the American public to funnel millions of dollars for the jailing of these benign violators of immigration law.


Maybe a more creative solution is appropriate. Perhaps, we should just kick all the rapists, murderers and pedophiles out of our prisons and replace them with the dangerous, degenerate and blood thirsty throng known as “illegal aliens”. tsk tsk...

Like tip-toeing through a mindfield

Khalid and I have made a critical decision. We have decided to file the adjustment of status papers, and the excludibility waiver that should negate his inadmissible status. It has cost us over 1,500 dollars to file all these papers, but it may be our best--and last chance.


Despite the fact that we have gotten some contradictory information about Khalid's ability to file the waivers we are acting on our gut instinct. We have reason to believe that this might actually work. Perhaps, at a later time I will discuss the conclusions that we have come to that have prodded us to act. For now, lets just say that some of the pieces of this perplexing immigration puzzle have finally come into place.

Technically, and legally speaking he should be able to adjust his status with the filing of the excludibility waiver. Basically, this waiver states that he can adjust his status because it has been 15 years since his conviction for reckless endangerment. He has shown himself to be a good and moral individual and has lead an exemplary life since 1993.


I also have a compelling hardship waiver that uses medical, financial and personal statements that prove I would have profound hardships should my husband be deported from the United States.


Additionally, we possess an approved I-130 VISA petition which states that our marriage is bona-fide and allows Khalid back into the country should he be compelled to leave. This is important because we have been told this is one of the hardest documents to procure.


Today we received a notice from Homeland Security notifying Khalid of a Biometric appointment in Syracuse on August 27th at 8:00 AM. Biometrics sounds like a new aerobic routine but it is actually an appointment whereby Khalid's fingerprints and other vital statistics are documented. We may even be interviewed. This is a necessary step in the adjustment of status process.


After the appointment we may be left waiting for 6-7 months until they make a determination. Until that time we will be on pins and needles. It is entirely possible that they will deny the petition and waivers. In that case, we would be forced to reapply when-- and if-- Khalid is actually deported. Yes, that would mean the U.S. government would get an additional 1,500 dollars of our hard-earned money. Gotta love the capitalistic spirit!


The filing of the papers should stop any attempts at deporting my husband. I say "should" because we are dealing with the government, and basically, if they get it in their heads to do something--they find a way.


Because Khalid has an American wife, it should afford him some protections that other deportees do not enjoy. He has noticed some significant changes in how Homeland Security has treated him since being married to me.


But, in the mercurial winds of the U.S. immigration judicial system there is no way of knowing if any of this will do any good. During the entire duration of this precarious immigration situation it feels like we are tip-toeing through a minefield. We never know what small steps we take will result in explosions and detriment and what large leaps might lead to safety and freedom.

We are taking a gigantic leap of faith. What we need more than anything are prayers and good wishes...so please...add us to your prayers this week. Thank you!

Memorial #2: Farouk Abdel-Muhti

Farouk Abdel-Muhti in detention

Farouk Abdel-Muhti was a Palestinian immigrant who made Queens, New York his home. He produced radio programs that were critical of American and Israeli foreign policies. He was also out of status.

Upon being arrested at his home in Queens by FBI officials in 2002, Farouk was transferred from various detention centers, jails and prisons across the country. Transferring detainees multiple times is a common procedure for the Department of Homeland Security. The excuse made for this bizarre behavior is the significant overcrowding in detention facilities. The scope of these harsh immigration laws has made existing detention facilities burst at the seems. It is not unusual for detention facilities, designed for 300 individuals, to house 700 or more.

But a more insidious reason may lurk beneath the surface. Moving detainees multiple times makes it harder for family members, friends or even lawyers to keep track of or visit the detainee. Relatives are not notified when their loved ones are moved and even attorneys are not made aware their client is now incarcerated two states over. Without the support of family members, friends and legal counsel it is more likely the detainee will be deported.

The rate of arresting and incarcerating illegal aliens has expanding much faster than the contractors can build new detention facilities. These new non-violent "criminals" are often housed in county jails and federal prisons alongside dangerous and violent felons.

The following quote is taken from the book Targeted:Homeland Security and the Business of Immigration by author Deepa Fernandes:

"During his two-year detention, Farouk spent eight straight months in solitary confinement in a tiny York County jail cell with no light for twenty-three hours and fifteen minutes per day. He was subject to extensive interrogation and was often denied food. He stated publicly that he was repeatedly abused, physically and verbally. On the rare occasions he was allowed to visit a health clinic, Farouk was handcuffed and shackled. After two years and extensive pro-bono support from the Center for Constitutional Rights, a federal judge ordered that Farouk be deported, charged, or released. As with so many other cases, all the government could accuse Farouk of was being out of status--for which he was treated like a criminal of the worst order." (page 89 of Targeted by Fernandes)

Eventually, after significant pressure from supporters and the hard work of his lawyers, Farouk was released in 2004. He became a tireless activist speaking for social justice and human rights across the country.

Unfortunately,this is a memorial in the traditional sense because Farouk actually collapsed and died after giving a speech in Philadelphia about human rights violations in the U.S. and Palestine. Undoubtedly, the stress and abuse suffered within the various prisons and detention facilities he was held in eventually caused the heart attack Farouk suffered from on that fateful day. It is interesting to note that he was not treated for his heart condition the entire time he was in detention.

May we, who strive to follow humbly in his footsteps, never waiver in our determination to fight discrimination and racism wherever it exists. Whether is shows it's distorted face in distant lands or right here within the land of the "free"-- may we always have the courage to speak truth to power.

Disposable bodies

Grace Chang wrote about the plight of undocumented woman immigrants in her book Disposable Domestics: Immigrant Women Workers in the Global Economy. She characterizes these woman as being disposable for several reasons. The most integral reason is that undocumented workers are necessary for the functioning of American society yet they are simultaneously cast aside for cheaper employees and then run out of the country.

Let me repeat that: undocumented workers are necessary for the stability of the American economy...

As a side note here: woman are particularly exploitable because of their subjugated status in society--yes, even our modern society. The fact that thousands of woman are assaulted, raped and killed in America every year attests to the fact that woman are still considered second class citizens. Furthermore, woman are still paid seventy cents to every man's dollar.

Why does the American economy need undocumented workers? America's economic system is capitalistic. Capitalism always needs surplus labor in order to expand. In capitalistic societies, in order for the consumerist machine to keep functioning it needs to keep a large pool of cheap, highly exploitable workers in the wings for future utilization.

Additionally, different segments of the working population are pitted against each other in an endless competition for the few jobs that are available. Sexism, racism and xenophobia are all societal ills that capitalism uses to its advantage.

This is evident with the observable increase of sexism and racism in economic downturns: like the one we are having now. This inherent competition allows capitalists to continually drive wages down for every worker.

Undocumented workers are the most exploitable and vulnerable workers in America. Employers do not have to offer any benefits, pensions, vacations, or health insurance to these particular employees. More importantly, employers of undocumented workers do not have to follow labor laws.

Additionally, undocumented workers do not get any government assistance in the form of social security benefits, welfare, food stamps, etc. The idea that undocumented workers drain funds from national coffers is a myth.

After the last round of so-called "immigration reform" in the mid 1990's all benefits were withdrawn from undocumented workers. Realistically speaking; undocumented workers prop up the American economy--they do not drain it dry.

Within this new super-capitalistic global economy, woman are not the only disposable bodies. Any black, brown or immigrant worker is also rendered disposable.

America needs to acknowledge its own role in the influx of undocumented workers into our borders and our contradictory attitudes toward them . On one hand we encourage the migration of illegal workers into our country simply because we can not afford to hire natives to do certain labor intensive and menial work. On the other hand we are persecuting the same people for residing and working illegally.

In addition, we need to hold ourselves accountable for the influence America holds within international lending institutions like the IMF and The World Bank. The lending policies of these institutions commonly undermine economic sustainability in developing countries. Many writers including Joseph Stiglitz, former head of The World Bank, has documented these abuses.


Consequently, many world citizens find themselves unable to provide the basic necessities for their families. They have no choice but to migrate to the centers of capitalism in order to survive. Many of them come here to America.

In conclusion, no human being is disposable.

A Clarification on my "memorials" of deportees

Recently, a reader contacted me about my blog post entitled Memorial #1: Ansar Mahmood. He was unhappy with a few things about my post: specifically the use of the word "memorial". In addition, he felt I was not doing Ansar justice by putting undue emphasis on his short residency in The U.S.

The entire note is as follows:

"hate to be pedantic... but those definitions are for 'memorial' as an adjective. You're using it as a noun. Mr Mahmood was shamefully treated. But you seem to be talking about him as if he were dead. As far as we know, he's alive and well and living in Pakistan. I just don't think you're doing him justice by talking of him as though his whole life were based on residency in the USA, and now all his promise and potential have been cruelly destroyed. They haven't - they're just happening somewhere else. The loss is America's, not his."

As to his first critique, regarding the use of the word “memorial” I will admit my mistake of using the incorrect "adjective" definition. However, there is nothing inherent within either definition that states the subject of the memorial has to be dead. In fact, the noun definition reflects more closely the actually purpose of the post: to remember the life of an immigrant that was unjustly treated. This is how the Miriam Webster online dictionary defines the noun of memorial:

“1: something that keeps remembrance alive: as a: monument b: something (as a speech or ceremony) that commemorates c: keepsake, memento”

I could have chosen to use the non-descript word of "remembrance" but that has no power behind it. Memorial is a "power word", it gets noticed: simply because it is normally associated with a death and/or a tragedy. Any writer worth his or her salt knows when to use a "power word" to get people's attention. All writers are manipulators of language: some are better at it than others.

In essence, the purpose of my post was to keep the memory of Ansar alive in the collective memory. There are thousands of immigrants being deported from America's shores yearly, each with their own unique story. Each year the numbers of deportations increase. Millions of taxpayer dollars are being funneled into this expensive "cleansing" and the American people have a right to know how this money is being used and to whom it is being used against. Unfortunately, most of these deportations are done secretly and only a handful of individual stories are known, written or talked about. Changes to immigration policy will only occur if people know something is wrong. Our immigration system is clearly broken!

I am attempting to take an abstract concept--deportation--and make it personal. Deportations do not happen to ideologies and concepts: they happen to individual people. Additionally, they do not happen just to the deportee, but to the family, friends and the community at large. To think otherwise is unrealistic. Any immigrant that comes to our country forges close relationships. Once a deported individual is sent away, those ties are oftentimes severed forever.

I never intended to imply that Mr. Mahmood was dead. But there are consequences inherent in becoming labeled a deportee. These consequences can result in actually physical death and/or-- what I refer to-- as "symbolic deaths." Bear with me, I assure you that I can explain.

There are serious ramifications of being deported --even once the person arrives in their country of origin. For instance, in countries like Pakistan, Haiti and many Middle Eastern countries once the individual is escorted off the plane by American DHS officials and handed over to the homeland authorities an even worse situation can unfold. In these countries, the deportee is oftentimes taken into custody, interrogated, abused and oftentimes thrown in prison.

In Haiti, for example, the majority of native deportees suffer from exposure, untreated medical conditions and starvation in Haitian prisons. Amnesty International has pleaded with American leaders to stop the unprecedented deportation of Haitian immigrants because of the gross human rights violations in the prisons there. For most Haitian deportees, being deported from America is a death sentence.

When Khalid is actually deported to India, the DHS officers will handcuff him and escort him off the plane and hand him over to Indian officials. These officials will look at Khalid's passport and see the word "deported" stamped on the first page. A likely scenario will play out in the following way: Khalid will be taken to a locked office within the airport and interrogated about the circumstances involving the deportation. Khalid will relate the long complicated story of his conviction, the fight through the immigration judicial system, his marriage to an American citizen and at the end of the struggle—being deported.

With any luck, maybe the officials will let Khalid go. Unfortunately, many Indian deportees find themselves rotting away in Indian prisons. These unlucky deportees are those who have no family ties in India and therefore no way to pay the extortion fee imposed on them by corrupt Indian officials.

Luckily, Khalid's brother should be in India at this time. His brother secured a 10 year VISA ( a VISA that allows unlimited entrance into the United States ) and commonly travels back and forth between India and the U.S. for training purposes. Hopefully, when Khalid is actually deported his brother will be in India and be able to travel to the prison, pay any fees required and Khalid will be allowed to accompany his brother to the safety of his home. Only then will Khalid be able to pick up the pieces of his life and start anew. For some Indian deportees the scenario is not so easy.

In conclusion, I was not trying to over-emphasize Mr. Mahmood's brief residency in the United States. I will not contradict the fact that many deportees can live happy, productive lives outside of American borders. People can live a good life in various countries all over the world. Despite myths propagated to the contrary, America does not corner the market on happiness, liberty and freedom. In fact, a recent study compared the relative happiness and contentment of citizens from various countries around the world, Americans ranked well behind individuals from Scandinavian countries. I will leave it to the reader to discern why, but it’s an interesting illumination none-the-less.

Ansar, like so many poor immigrants from unstable countries, wanted desperately to come here. He dreamed of arriving in this "land of opportunity". From his meager capital he obtained a green card and came to America. He secured employment and was even able to send some money back to his relatives. By all accounts, he thrived in his new environment and was content. It is not a stretch to say that his quality of life was significantly better here than in Pakistan.

That is why immigrants risk everything to come here. It is not my aim, in this particular post, to debate whether this naiveté and optimism is justified or whether it lives up to the hype. That is a subject for a subsequent post. It is only necessary to illuminate that America is the beacon of hope and prosperity for millions of downtrodden people across the globe.

Ansar came to America in the hopes of finding a better, more stable and productive life. However, when he was deported all this was destroyed. What he experienced was a "symbolic death" that is no less devastating. His hopes, aspirations, relationships and sense of security all “died” the day he was put on the plane to return him to Pakistan.

I do not believe that Ansar would take offense to my "memorial" I feel the only way that I can do justice to Ansar is to make sure that he is remembered. Indeed, the deportation of a good hardworking man like Ansar is a great loss to America. But to downplay the devastation of deportation is doing a gross injustice to the memory-- indeed to the living, breathing individual known as Ansar Mahmood-- and to the thousands of people whose lives are destroyed by deportation every year.

To think that Ansar, or any deportee, can return to his country carefree, unscathed, and simply pick up the where they left off is unadulterated ignorance. It doesn't work that way. I will continue to write about various deportees in my “memorials” to facilitate some empathy and understanding from a public who is largely unaware of their plight. I am giving voice to the voiceless.

There is a madness to my method…er...method to my madness.

Khalid's Life: Part II

When Iraq invaded Kuwait on August 2, 1990, Khalid’s family fled their home and left everything behind. Family members scattered to various countries seeking safety. One sister eventually went back to Kuwait after several years only to find the family’s home destroyed by heavy Iraqi artillery.

As a result of the war his father had lost his job and could no longer finance Khalid’s education. Consequently, Khalid was left without a homeland to return to and the grim prospect of dropping out of college to fend for himself as best he could. His father, fearing for his son’s safety, encouraged Khalid to stay in the United States, at least until there was a stable home to return to. That time never came.

In 1991 he moved from Oklahoma to Utica, New York. While in Utica, he obtained employment as a taxi driver. However, Khalid soon realized that working as a taxi driver in Utica in the early 1990’s was a hazardous profession. Many taxi drivers were assaulted and robbed and there was at least one documented fatality.
At 12:30 on a summer night in 1993, while filling out some paperwork in his cab, he was threatened by four individuals: individuals that Khalid felt meant him physical harm.

In order to defend himself he shot a gun into the air. Unfortunately, Khalid was only familiar with Oklahoma’s permissive gun laws and was not aware that New York state required guns to be registered. Regardless, his intention was never to hurt anyone; he merely wanted to scare them away. Indeed, no one was hurt, nor was any property damaged. The police report confirms that he was approached and harassed by a group of people-- two of whom had previous convictions. Ultimately, this information was disregarded but significance was attached to the firing of an unregistered gun.

He fully cooperated with the police but despite this he was arrested and taken into custody. When the District Attorney agreed to lower the charges to 3rd degree reckless endangerment, a minor infraction that did not result in jail time, but the presiding judge refused to take the plea. Thankfully, the gun violation was dropped but my husband was charged with 1st degree reckless endangerment. He served 4 months of his 6 month sentence due to good behavior.

After his release, Khalid was looking forward to putting the conviction behind him. Unfortunately, fate had other plans. After 9/11, fear seeped into the dark crevices in American’s psyches and secured its predatory talons into our quaking flesh. Consequently, many Americans concluded if a few extremists can be callous enough to take innocent lives, than by extension, all Muslims must be dangerous. Unfortunately, this is an assumption based on fear and ignorance and has been exploited by American leaders to expand their own Imperialistic agenda, and is not based on empirical fact.

In retribution, the United States government began a systematic and intense operative in removing Muslim and Arab immigrants from this country. Although many were in the United States illegally, the assault was also felt by legal immigrants and even U.S. citizens with Muslim and Arab backgrounds.

In 2001, my husband was unmarried, Muslim and had residential ties to Kuwait: one of the flagged countries suspected of housing terrorists. As a result of these factors and his electronic expertise, Khalid fit the profile the U.S. government implemented for identifying suspected terrorists.

After 2001, Khalid became immersed in a legal immigration nightmare. The judge presiding over Khalid’s original immigration case determined that he was deportable based on his one conviction of reckless endangerment. If reckless endangerment was considered an aggravated felony than the judge would have been correct. However, reckless endangerment is considered a crime of moral turpitude. In order for a crime of moral turpitude to be considered a deportable crime, the individual in question would have to commit one crime of moral turpitude within five years of arriving in the States or-- failing to qualify in that regards-- would need to commit two crimes of moral turpitude. My husband’s situation did not qualify as deportable based on these criteria.

Consequently, my husband remanded this decision to the Board of Immigration Appeals. The BIA agreed that the one crime of moral turpitude is not deportable. Additionally, they determined that he was eligible for asylum, a form of relief the immigration judge denied him-- unless his crime was considered a particularly serious crime. Subsequently, the immigration judge proclaimed that Khalid’s crime was a particularly serious crime and therefore, he was denied asylum and considered deportable.

Once again, Khalid appealed the decision to the BIA. They agreed it was a particularly serious crime, which denied him asylum, but did not concur deportability based on the conviction. Despite the BIA’s reluctance in issuing a deportation mandate, my husband was apprehended at his home in 2003 and deposited in a detention facility in Batavia New York. He languished in detention for over eight months, despite having legal papers, a valid passport and repeatedly imploring the detention officers to return him to India. During this unconstitutional imprisonment, Khalid lost his livelihood, his freedom and his house.

To digress to legal explanations, the usage of the term “particularly serious crime” is predominately an ambiguous designation. An unfortunate consequence of the 2nd circuit decision in my husband’s case is the ability of immigration judges to apply this designation to any conviction, even without evidence of violence, criminal intent or premeditation. Although this law could be applied to any immigrant, it was most often utilized against Muslims and Arabs.

Indeed, this tendency to single out this particular ethnic population continued in the passing of other security measures including the absconder apprehension initiative, and the Muslim immigrant registration process. The Migration Policy Institute conducted a survey of Muslims detained after 9/11 entitled: America’s Challenge: Domestic Security, Civil Liberties and National Unity after September 11th. They found the overall deportations of Muslims increased substantially in the years following the tragedy of 9/11.

Fears of deportations and the implementation of ethnic specific laws effectively alienated most Muslims from their communities and severely restricted their lives. The report explains in the following excerpt:

“As a general immigration enforcement measure, the absconder apprehension initiative is legitimate and important. However, after September 11 the government changed the character of the program to make it nationality-specific. This has marginal security benefits, while further equating national origin with dangerousness, although stepped-up absconder apprehension efforts are eventually to encompass all nationalities, this has not happened so far.”


There is no indication that any of the men who were deterred at detention centers were actually a menace to American society. The majority of detainees were non-violent, had family ties in the States and had been residents for a considerable amount of time. They do not fit the established profile of a real terrorist. As the report discusses:

“Most importantly, from our research it appears that the government’s major successes in apprehending terrorists have not come from post-September 11 detentions but from other efforts such as international intelligence initiatives, law enforcement cooperation, and information provided by arrests made abroad. A few noncitizens detained after September 11 have been characterized as terrorists, but the charges brought against them were actually for routine immigration violations or unrelated crimes.”

The actual result of these measures has not resulted in a safer country. Instead, we have created a society that is alienated, fragmented and unnecessarily fearful and distrustful of each other. Rather than safety, these legal statutes have resulted in instability and the eradication of numerous personal liberties. The Migration Policy Institute explains:

“The government’s use of immigration law as a primary means of fighting terrorism has substantially diminished civil liberties and stigmatized Arab- and Muslim-American communities in this country. These measures, which were primarily targeted at Muslims, have diminished the openness of U.S. society and eroded national unity.”

The problem with this stigmatization is that people operate under the illusion that it is easy to identify the enemy. The underlying assumption remains: If Muslims are inherently evil and are easy to identify, with their conspicuous facial hair and strange clothing; it will be easy to banish them from our country. Only then will we be safe. This sounds eerily familiar. In times of crises, many civilizations have implemented similar magical and dangerous thinking.

One does not need to go far back into America’s history to find such an example. Consider, for instance, the practice of sending thousands of Japanese-Americans to internment camps during World War II. Now, after years of reflection, most Americans would agree this was not the right thing to do. In fact, many Japanese interned were later awarded monetary compensation as a symbol of America’s regret.

We’ve deluded ourselves into thinking that evil dons a readily identifiable mask. Evil doers wear peculiar clothing and speak strange languages. We don’t want to admit that evil is elusive. We want comfort in an uncertain world so we concoct a fictional reality where we can identify “the other” as the cause of our suffering and uncertainty. As long as our attention is exclusively occupied by eradicating this evil then we don’t have to look at the reality before us. Evil dons many masks and unlike humans, it does not discriminate.

A True-Blue American

Khalid and I spent a wonderful Fourth of July at Pierre and Donna's house, eating hot dogs and hamburgers, sipping homemade concord grape wine, socializing with great people and simply relaxing after a stressful week. We met a lovely couple, Lorraine and Lee, and Lorraine gave me advice on how to get my art shown in a gallery. She is a successful local artist and her work is shown in art venues across the state. Her genre is fabric art, and is comprised of a painted canvas background and intricate dimensional embroidery of various flowers. She gave me her business card and on the back of it was a copy of one of her pieces: a beautiful rose-colored hollyhock.

Later on, we drove to the Syracuse Fairgrounds to watch the fireworks. They were supposed to start at dusk but for some unfathomable reason did not commence until 9:50. It was unusually cold for a July evening in Central New York, 40 degrees to be exact-- and while I was sitting in a new-- not particularly comfortable transportable chair I berated myself for failing to grab a sweater or blanket on the way out this morning.

Shivering and rocking back and forth to keep myself warm I had ample time to chide myself for my stupidity. While I was watching the hoards of people barbecuing hot dogs, eating ice cream, waving magical sparklers in the air-- and listening to a mother scolding her child for wandering away,-- and doing all those things that are traditional for a July 4th celebration, I wondered what it takes in contemporary society to be considered a true blue, patriotic American and whether I could fit into that narrow definition.

It's easy to know how to be a true-blue American on the 4th of July. It's all spelled out for us. We BBQ, picnic, eat hot dogs and hamburgers, sip lemonade and basically gorge ourselves until the buttons on our shirts pop off. Then we gather our family and friends together and pile in trucks and drive to the best fireworks display in the area.

But when the smoke has dissipated from the ink hued sky, and the last blaze of fiery, reflected color has faded from the iris of a sleeping child; what does a true-blue American do?

Television does a good job of illustrating what is expected of us as it broadcasts American culture and the iconic American dream 24 hours a day; seven days a week. Commercials and the pandering of politicians tell us our most sacred duty as an American is to shop and keep quiet. Put everything on credit and bolster the sagging economy. Shop until you drop-- but don't ask too many questions and, most definitely, don't be critical of the government. We distract ourselves by buying new cars built with cheap parts, large elaborate homes constructed on sink holes--and buy the latest technological gadget at exorbitant prices. Do all this and more--put yourself into piles of critical debt-- but don't draw attention to corporate corruption and the political system that supports it.

And when everything inevitably goes down in flames and the economy is in shambles-- make sure that blame falls on the victims: the Americans who bought into the American dream that has turned into the American nightmare. Blame the poor people who wanted to provide a safe roof for their children, or the young man who borrowed money to keep his fragile business afloat as larger corporations invaded his territory and lured his customers away with promises of the good life for a cheap price. Blame the old people who have to choose between buying food, heat or costly medicine. By no means should you hold the greedy politicians or corporation's accountable. And even if you do, for Heaven's sake, be polite and obedient and don't talk about it.

Maybe I am a relic of the rebellion and social consciousness of the 1960's--after all--I was born in the late sixties and some of the "hippie" essence must have rubbed off on me. But I can't help but feel there is more to being a patriotic American than ascribing to consumerism, passivity or fervent individualism. Somehow, I feel less patriotic--less true-blue-- by admitting that.

When did greed become a trait to aspire to and how exactly did it become good for our economy? America is still predominately a Christian nation therefore I assume that greed is still considered one of the seven deadly sins. I ask this because I read a comment in a discussion group glorifying the virtue of greed and how it single handedly pushed this nation into greatness. Without greed, the argument went, this nation would never had become the superpower it is today. I disagree, I believe that it was ambition that forged this nation. But ambition, without foresight and restraint, becomes destructive and turns to greed.

Am I true-blue American? If I compare myself to some people's notion of what a true-blue American is, probably not. I have a strong tendency towards social and political criticism and don't mind letting my revolutionary thoughts known when the appropriate occasion arises. However, I also believe in community building, helping your neighbor, working for social justice and treating everyone, regardless of rank, color, or culture with dignity and respect. In my heart--that is being a true-blue, patriotic American.

Inside the Dragon's Lair--Part 1

Slithering in between the tangles of blackthorn and ivy, my husband and I stealthily picked our way through the dense bushes lining the medieval fortress that lay just outside the castle gates. The old gnarly witch in the Obsidian Forest told us Ashcroft Castle was protected by an powerful magic and no one could gain entrance without the purple crystal key. The key was buried underneath Pan's statue which was located near Wygham Lake in the furthest eastern corner of the kingdom. Our goal was to retrieve the key and journey to Ashcroft Castle; find a doorway in the fortress marked with a rune called raido: a symbol that approximates the look of a letter "r" with a slightly askew leg on one end. It was here that my husband could find an ancient document that would finally grant him his freedom.

Finding the purple crystal key was relatively easy, except for the few ornery trolls we had put to sleep with a tranquility spell. Trolls aren't easily susceptible to serenity and it took our combined efforts along with a sharp hit on the noggin of one particularly difficult troll to ensure the entire group got it's fair share of tranquility.

However, trying to find the doorway with the rune mark was particularly difficult. We had circled the entire fortress and had not discovered the necessary doorway. They all looked the same: plain withered planks of splintered wood with an odd diamond shaped keyhole.

The only protection that was offered to us was the dense brush of blackthorn and we often had to jump quickly back into those thorny bushes when the King's Brigade came by. Once they marched a safe distance away we ran to the next nearest door. I quickly pulled the crystal key from a pocket deep in my bronze cloak. There wasn't a discernible mark on the expanse of the door but I tried to fit the key in the lock anyway and was amazed when both the key and the lock eerily metamorphosed shape into the mark of the rune. The knob turned and we carefully pushed the door open.

A magnificent garden greeted our tired and surprised eyes. I had to blink multiple times before my eyes could adjust to the penetrating golden light and the flurry of color. It was unlike any garden I had seen: filled with meandering plants of such girth and height that obscured every object in the garden with a thousand flourishes of unusual blooms. In the middle of the courtyard there was a glittering gold fountain and torrents of silvery liquid that cascaded over multi layered tiers of stone chiseled seashells.

On either side of the fountain, approximately 1000 feet apart, stood two massive black gargoyle sculptures with terrifying grimaces and large, slightly oblong ears that diminished to long, curled tips at the ends. Their sleek and massive wings stood immobile but partially unfurled on either side as their twisted and slick talons held a stone sphere cruelly in each paw. I looked at them in fascination for a few minutes and then slowly turned to catch my husband's gaze. But as my head started to turn I could have sworn my eyes registered some movement in my peripheral vision. I quickly turned back to look at the statue but it was completely still. Bemused I was about to say something to my husband when I heard him say: "Beth, get behind me."

My head snapped quickly back to my husband. The alarm in his voice was initiated by an animated gargoyle towering over my husband in a predatory stance. He was about four feet away from him, close enough for the monster's breathe to move the hair on my husband's head.

A loud growl ensued from a different direction and I swiveled my head to the left and gazed in horror at the visage of the other gargoyle. He was no longer perched benignly on the marble pedestal but was instead flapping his wings passionately and focusing his red eyes intently in my direction. From a distance, I heard the deep, evil cry of the other gargoyle, but I could not turn my attention from the monster in front of me. I gripped the spear at my side and raised it slowly. I took a quick step forward but the gargoyle was quicker and knocked the spear out of my hands with his long snout.

I deftly dodged the flap of his massive left wing and took cover under the billowy leaves of a willow tree. I had to get my spear back-- and fast. The stupid beast was not aware of my hiding place and seemed to be looking for me on the dense bushes of blackthorn. I ran out from under the cover of the willow and grabbed my spear. The gargoyle turned in pursuit. As it lunged for me I raised the spear and threw it right into the monster's heart. The creature stumbled, stopped and then collapsed-- all the while snorting and thrashing to the ground.

I turned and looked for my husband. The other beast had also collapsed to the ground but I could not find my husband. I called for him but heard nothing in return. After what seemed to be an eternity I finally heard the muffled voice of my husband. I ran to where the sound came from. I saw my husband's hand peaking out from under the wing of the massive beast. Grunting with the effort, I lifted the wing just enough for my husband to crawl out.

"That was a close one", he said as he wiped the sweat from his forehead. He grinned sheepishly and added, "After this-- the rest should be a piece of cake."

From behind us we heard the loudest shriek we have ever heard in our lives. It sounded like a cross between an eagle, a lion and the wail of a colicky baby. The ground shook with the massive creature's substantial weight. We turned quickly to see the body of a gargantuan iridescent green dragon looking at us with a gaze of pure hatred.

I was frozen in fear and the only thought that came clearly to mind was that it wasn't going to be all that easy to gain my husband's freedom.

Ok..time for some truth-telling: the trip to Homeland Security wasn't quite as bad as the former story. However, the drama queen in me couldn't help embellishing the real story a trifle. And of course--I'm sure you have surmised already-- Khalid was safely returned home.Otherwise, I wouldn't have been up for such story-telling. In all honesty, this whole situation seems surreal and much like a fantasy novel: with unseen enemies, surprises, miracles and hazardous journeys. So the fantasy story seemed strangely appropriate.

Indeed, the trip went well. We were only kept waiting for about 20 minutes--a record. Usually we are there for three hours or more. Khalid's Deportation Officer was very nice and congenial. She told us there were no new developments and to come back in three months. There were no trolls, no gargoyles and no dragon. There was also no freedom for my husband either.....so at least that part was true!

Senseless

The word senseless has flickered through my mind during this whole immigration ordeal. Although it is completely pointless I keep trying to determine why Homeland Security is adamant about deporting my husband. What is the advantage of spending thousands of dollars and countless hours in order to deport him? How exactly is the deportation of my husband going to make America a better and safer place? What possible good can come out of deporting a husband, an employee and a tax payer? My husband is not a terrorist, a drug addict or drug dealer. He has never physically hurt or abused anyone! The man does not possess one mean, callous or disrespectful bone in his body. The deportation of my husband will not result in anything positive or good--it will only result in misery and strife.

And if they were so intent on deporting him, why didn’t they just do so the first time he was in detention in 2003? These are all questions I will never have the answer to—and it is driving me insane. Why in the world did the U.S. government allow him to adjust his status before the 2nd circuit hearing and then rescind it? Unfortunately, I cannot stop myself from pondering the reasons why this senseless situation is unfolding this way.

In addition to all these questions, I can’t help but think about everything Khalid has been through and how this situation has affected him mentally and physically. He has been separated from his family since the late 1980’s. I cannot fathom what that was like and how lonely he must have felt during these years. And now, in addition to everything else he has lost, he is now being separated from his wife here in the States. He has worked hard his whole life, even holding down two jobs while doing countless hours of overtime, training other people and taking any additional challenges his employer has asked of him. None of this has made a bit of difference.

Some people answer this question by saying that life just isn’t fair. No, life isn’t fair. But does that justify the horrible, wretched, inhumane things people do to each other? Life is all about distributing scarce resources and determining who gets a larger chunk of the pie and who is left fighting for the crumbs. The scarcest resource of all is love and the bitterest struggle: its procurement.

I am reminded of a wonderful Indian author named Arundhati Roy and her book The God of Small Things. If you haven't read it I recommend it highly. In this book she explores the nature of love and how it is artificially distributed in society based upon arbitrary designations of rank, wealth and power. More specifically the story centers around the tragic love story between an upper class Indian woman and a poor Untouchable laborer. A particular quote from the book comes to mind and I will share it with you now:

"They all broke the rules. They all crossed into forbidden territory. They all tampered with the laws that lay down who should be loved and how. And how much."

This quote has become quite poignant to me now. I realize that the problems our country is currently facing: including the debate about gay marriage, the excesses of greed, racism, sexism and the discriminatory immigration judicial system; can all be linked by this distribution of love-- and who deserves it and who doesn't.

So, here I am, sitting in my living room-- ironically watching a special on Michael Jackson and fearing that this will be the last day I will spend with my husband and wondering where our share of the love is.....