Showing posts with label Kuwait. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kuwait. Show all posts

Sunday, August 16, 2009

As smart as a monkey

Occasionally, particularly in the beginning of a relationship, your partner will do or say something that goes against convention. It happens in every relationship, but I surmise it happens most often in relationships that comprise one person from a different culture. When one keeps an open mind it is amazing what can be learned within these intersections of diverging perspectives.

I was reminded of one of these enlightening moments this morning when I was eating breakfast. Normally, I have breakfast with Khalid on Sunday's. Quite often he makes a delicious pancake and turkey bacon breakfast. But on this particular Sunday he had arisen early to indulge in a favorite pastime; fishing.

So, here I was, alone, blithely eating my Cheerios and sipping coffee when I reached out to pick up a banana. Without thinking I turned the banana upside down and began peeling it from the bottom.


I never used to peel a banana that way. Like most cultured Americans I had always peeled it from the stem--struggling and cursing the entire time. This is how I was taught as a youngster, this is how everyone I knew had done it. As far as I knew...this was how our ancestors had done it throughout the centuries. Who was I to question it? Never mind that it's extremely difficult to do, or that I usually mash up a sizable portion of the banana. Indeed, I never questioned it until I met Khalid.

One of the first days we had been living together I witnessed Khalid effortlessly peeling a banana from the bottom. I was intrigued...because quite frankly, I had never seen it done that way. I asked him where he learned to peel a banana that way. He looked at me with a quizzical expression on his face. He looked to my serious face and back to the banana. "What??" I believe his reply was.

After some comical deliberation he answered the question by stating simply; that's how everyone does it in Kuwait.

Coincidentally, not long ago I saw a posting about this same topic on the Internet. Interestingly, our distant ancestors--and in this case I am referring to monkeys--peel their bananas from the bottom. Some researchers had apparently gone to some remote location to study the habits of monkeys and had notated this curious fact. One of the points made was the fact that monkeys are considered less intelligent than humans yet a sizable portion of humans, particularly from Western cultures, continue to peel banana's from the stem. So...who is really more intelligent?

It makes me wonder how many things we as Americans do, out of habit and conditioning, that could be implemented in a more efficient or rational way.

This morning, when I noticed I was peeling my banana from the bottom--I smiled to myself and thought: at least I am as smart as a monkey!



Thursday, July 30, 2009

A Birthday party in Kuwait

Facebook is wonderful! It has its drawbacks…for sure. As an example, many of the applications are cheesy. For the most part, joining Facebook has been a positive experience and has allowed me to reconnect to old friends I haven’t heard from in years. One of the best things about Facebook has been connecting with Khalid’s sister in Kuwait. She has recently “friended” me on Facebook-- and since that day I have felt like a part of Khalid’s family.

Khalid has a special place in his heart for his sister and always speaks of her in glowing terms. He describes her as a generous, warm, caring woman: someone who would go to great lengths to help someone in need. I have spoken to her a few times over the telephone and I get the same impression. She has always treated me with respect, warmth and a welcoming spirit, despite the fact that she has never met me.

She has allowed me a glimpse into her life in Kuwait. I cannot describe in words what this has meant to Khalid and I. She has posted many pictures of her beautiful family. I especially love the pictures she posted of a family trip to Entertainment City in Kuwait: a large and brightly colored amusement park set within a lush and palm tree bespeckled landscape. These pictures showcase a lovely and elegant woman with a lively smile and a young son with an impish yet infectious grin.

Today she posted pictures of her daughter’s first birthday party. Khalid’s sister is wearing a beautiful royal purple outfit with dangling earrings and an intricate purple beaded necklace. (I always notice beaded necklaces because I design and make them myself) Her daughter is a lovely child, dressed in a shimmery gold dress with matching headband. Her attention is occupied by a large birthday cake with a large motif of Barbie encased on the frosting. In the corner is a closed pink flower candle that unfolds magically when lite.

Even though I love perusing these pictures I can’t help but feel a tinge of sadness. Khalid and I would love to be a part of his sister’s life. We want to spend time with her and her family. For now..that dream is regretfully on hold.

I make this promise to Khalid’s sister: I will do whatever I can to make it possible for you to see your brother again. Once this immigration nightmare is over we will travel together to Kuwait and spend some time with you and your family. Perhaps, in the not so distant future we can attend a birthday party in Kuwait.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Eisbrecher

EISBRECHER

My husband never ceases to amaze me. He is one of the most open-minded, easy-going and curious individuals I have ever met. He is never afraid to try new things, or listen to something different. One of the things that attracted me to him is his love of music...and not just any music but a lot of the same music I listen to. Which is nothing short of a miracle: and was a sign that we belong together-- because a substantial percentage of the music I like is obscure. Even when I was a teenager I dismissed the popular bubblegum pop of the 1980's for punk, goth, and industrial. I liked music with a strong bass line and a deep message--or at least unique or artsy. I ignored superficial musical groups that sang exclusively about sex, drugs or pick-up trucks.

I was elated and surprised when, during one of our first road trips together; I was perusing the musical selection on his i-pod and found songs by The Cure, New Order and Marillon! Only a handful of my friends have ever liked the same music I liked, and here was a man--coming from a foreign country half a world away--who liked the same tunes I did. When I inquired about his unusual musical tastes he only laughed and said, "yeah, I got into some of that music while I was in Kuwait and then even more when I was in college."

His answer caught me by surprise because I had not considered the possibility of alternative music being readily available in a country like Kuwait. My ignorance about the world had made me believe that this type of music would only be enjoyed by people in so-called "progressive" Western countries. I was quite happy to have been proven wrong--and that doesn't happen too often! (a-hem...meaning that I am not often happy about being proven wrong. I did not mean that I am seldom proven wrong. Unfortunately, being incorrect is something that happens to me almost daily. Welcome to the human condition!)

Even now, as a 41 year old, I am still "hip" and love to discover the latest musical groups and genres. (Of course using the term "hip" probably proves that I am not!) Recently I have discovered a love for Hindi and Bollywood music. Khalid was so surprised once day when he came home to find me grooving to some new Hindi song. He asked me if I understood any of the lyrics. I regretfully replied: "No. But you don't have to understand the lyrics in order to enjoy the music."

I am also a big fan of the Scandinavian/German symphonic rock scene. Symphonic rock can be described as a fusion between progressive metal and classical music. I realize that these seem like two incompatible musical styles but it actually works quite well. The arrangements are complex, intricate and much more unique then standard rock songs. There is a magical fusion within the symphonic genre because there exists a contrast between the aggressive "masculine" rhythm of the instruments and the beautiful female soprano vocals. Some of the best soprano voices can be heard within symphonic metal: including Liv Kristine of Leave's Eyes, Sharon Den Adel of Within Temptation, Charlotte Wessels of Delain, Sabine Edelsbacher of Edenbridge and Tarja Turunen, formally of the band Nightwish. Every time I listen to them I get shivers down my spine.

Luckily, most of these bands my husband appreciates as well. He likes a lot of songs by Within Temptation and Delain, and even some of the songs by Leave's Eyes. But I was surprised when he commented about a song I played by one of the new bands I discovered by the name of Eisbrecher.

What some people don't know (unless they are a new music fiend like I am) is that Germany is currently one of the most prolific areas for alternative rock music. The music scene has exploded there and many German musical groups are gaining large followings of fans all over the world. Some of them sing in English (like Edenbridge and Xandria) but some-- thankfully sing in their native tongue.

One such band is called Eisbrecher, which in English can be translated as "ice breaker" although I imagine, pronounced slightly differently--maybe "icebricker?" (Ok--well..I don't have to pronounce it correctly to appreciate it.) They are categorized as an industrial band with a hard edge, electronic sound and aggressive beat. Very danceable music..the kind you would hear in a trendy club. The male singer has one of the deepest Bass vocals I have ever heard.




I had played a few of their songs for Khalid and he expressed an liking for them and asked who the band was. I told him and he said he had never heard of them before.I explained that they were from Germany and had just stated to become popular in the States. He liked them so much that the next time I perused his i-pod, he had bought and downloaded some of their songs.

Just to be a wise guy I asked him "Do you understand any of the lyrics?"

He sheepishly smiled at me and replied "No. But you don't have to understand the words to appreciate the music."

Smart alec.....

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Khalid's Life: Part II

When Iraq invaded Kuwait on August 2, 1990, Khalid’s family fled their home and left everything behind. Family members scattered to various countries seeking safety. One sister eventually went back to Kuwait after several years only to find the family’s home destroyed by heavy Iraqi artillery.

As a result of the war his father had lost his job and could no longer finance Khalid’s education. Consequently, Khalid was left without a homeland to return to and the grim prospect of dropping out of college to fend for himself as best he could. His father, fearing for his son’s safety, encouraged Khalid to stay in the United States, at least until there was a stable home to return to. That time never came.

In 1991 he moved from Oklahoma to Utica, New York. While in Utica, he obtained employment as a taxi driver. However, Khalid soon realized that working as a taxi driver in Utica in the early 1990’s was a hazardous profession. Many taxi drivers were assaulted and robbed and there was at least one documented fatality.
At 12:30 on a summer night in 1993, while filling out some paperwork in his cab, he was threatened by four individuals: individuals that Khalid felt meant him physical harm.

In order to defend himself he shot a gun into the air. Unfortunately, Khalid was only familiar with Oklahoma’s permissive gun laws and was not aware that New York state required guns to be registered. Regardless, his intention was never to hurt anyone; he merely wanted to scare them away. Indeed, no one was hurt, nor was any property damaged. The police report confirms that he was approached and harassed by a group of people-- two of whom had previous convictions. Ultimately, this information was disregarded but significance was attached to the firing of an unregistered gun.

He fully cooperated with the police but despite this he was arrested and taken into custody. When the District Attorney agreed to lower the charges to 3rd degree reckless endangerment, a minor infraction that did not result in jail time, but the presiding judge refused to take the plea. Thankfully, the gun violation was dropped but my husband was charged with 1st degree reckless endangerment. He served 4 months of his 6 month sentence due to good behavior.

After his release, Khalid was looking forward to putting the conviction behind him. Unfortunately, fate had other plans. After 9/11, fear seeped into the dark crevices in American’s psyches and secured its predatory talons into our quaking flesh. Consequently, many Americans concluded if a few extremists can be callous enough to take innocent lives, than by extension, all Muslims must be dangerous. Unfortunately, this is an assumption based on fear and ignorance and has been exploited by American leaders to expand their own Imperialistic agenda, and is not based on empirical fact.

In retribution, the United States government began a systematic and intense operative in removing Muslim and Arab immigrants from this country. Although many were in the United States illegally, the assault was also felt by legal immigrants and even U.S. citizens with Muslim and Arab backgrounds.

In 2001, my husband was unmarried, Muslim and had residential ties to Kuwait: one of the flagged countries suspected of housing terrorists. As a result of these factors and his electronic expertise, Khalid fit the profile the U.S. government implemented for identifying suspected terrorists.

After 2001, Khalid became immersed in a legal immigration nightmare. The judge presiding over Khalid’s original immigration case determined that he was deportable based on his one conviction of reckless endangerment. If reckless endangerment was considered an aggravated felony than the judge would have been correct. However, reckless endangerment is considered a crime of moral turpitude. In order for a crime of moral turpitude to be considered a deportable crime, the individual in question would have to commit one crime of moral turpitude within five years of arriving in the States or-- failing to qualify in that regards-- would need to commit two crimes of moral turpitude. My husband’s situation did not qualify as deportable based on these criteria.

Consequently, my husband remanded this decision to the Board of Immigration Appeals. The BIA agreed that the one crime of moral turpitude is not deportable. Additionally, they determined that he was eligible for asylum, a form of relief the immigration judge denied him-- unless his crime was considered a particularly serious crime. Subsequently, the immigration judge proclaimed that Khalid’s crime was a particularly serious crime and therefore, he was denied asylum and considered deportable.

Once again, Khalid appealed the decision to the BIA. They agreed it was a particularly serious crime, which denied him asylum, but did not concur deportability based on the conviction. Despite the BIA’s reluctance in issuing a deportation mandate, my husband was apprehended at his home in 2003 and deposited in a detention facility in Batavia New York. He languished in detention for over eight months, despite having legal papers, a valid passport and repeatedly imploring the detention officers to return him to India. During this unconstitutional imprisonment, Khalid lost his livelihood, his freedom and his house.

To digress to legal explanations, the usage of the term “particularly serious crime” is predominately an ambiguous designation. An unfortunate consequence of the 2nd circuit decision in my husband’s case is the ability of immigration judges to apply this designation to any conviction, even without evidence of violence, criminal intent or premeditation. Although this law could be applied to any immigrant, it was most often utilized against Muslims and Arabs.

Indeed, this tendency to single out this particular ethnic population continued in the passing of other security measures including the absconder apprehension initiative, and the Muslim immigrant registration process. The Migration Policy Institute conducted a survey of Muslims detained after 9/11 entitled: America’s Challenge: Domestic Security, Civil Liberties and National Unity after September 11th. They found the overall deportations of Muslims increased substantially in the years following the tragedy of 9/11.

Fears of deportations and the implementation of ethnic specific laws effectively alienated most Muslims from their communities and severely restricted their lives. The report explains in the following excerpt:

“As a general immigration enforcement measure, the absconder apprehension initiative is legitimate and important. However, after September 11 the government changed the character of the program to make it nationality-specific. This has marginal security benefits, while further equating national origin with dangerousness, although stepped-up absconder apprehension efforts are eventually to encompass all nationalities, this has not happened so far.”


There is no indication that any of the men who were deterred at detention centers were actually a menace to American society. The majority of detainees were non-violent, had family ties in the States and had been residents for a considerable amount of time. They do not fit the established profile of a real terrorist. As the report discusses:

“Most importantly, from our research it appears that the government’s major successes in apprehending terrorists have not come from post-September 11 detentions but from other efforts such as international intelligence initiatives, law enforcement cooperation, and information provided by arrests made abroad. A few noncitizens detained after September 11 have been characterized as terrorists, but the charges brought against them were actually for routine immigration violations or unrelated crimes.”

The actual result of these measures has not resulted in a safer country. Instead, we have created a society that is alienated, fragmented and unnecessarily fearful and distrustful of each other. Rather than safety, these legal statutes have resulted in instability and the eradication of numerous personal liberties. The Migration Policy Institute explains:

“The government’s use of immigration law as a primary means of fighting terrorism has substantially diminished civil liberties and stigmatized Arab- and Muslim-American communities in this country. These measures, which were primarily targeted at Muslims, have diminished the openness of U.S. society and eroded national unity.”

The problem with this stigmatization is that people operate under the illusion that it is easy to identify the enemy. The underlying assumption remains: If Muslims are inherently evil and are easy to identify, with their conspicuous facial hair and strange clothing; it will be easy to banish them from our country. Only then will we be safe. This sounds eerily familiar. In times of crises, many civilizations have implemented similar magical and dangerous thinking.

One does not need to go far back into America’s history to find such an example. Consider, for instance, the practice of sending thousands of Japanese-Americans to internment camps during World War II. Now, after years of reflection, most Americans would agree this was not the right thing to do. In fact, many Japanese interned were later awarded monetary compensation as a symbol of America’s regret.

We’ve deluded ourselves into thinking that evil dons a readily identifiable mask. Evil doers wear peculiar clothing and speak strange languages. We don’t want to admit that evil is elusive. We want comfort in an uncertain world so we concoct a fictional reality where we can identify “the other” as the cause of our suffering and uncertainty. As long as our attention is exclusively occupied by eradicating this evil then we don’t have to look at the reality before us. Evil dons many masks and unlike humans, it does not discriminate.