A Biometrics appointment

We did it! We got through the biometrics appointment! It was really quite simple, painless and fast! The worst part is getting up so early in the morning. It is one hours drive to Syracuse, New York so we had to be up at 6AM at the latest!

Well... we actually got up at 6:20PM. Basically, it was every man...and woman for himself as we zipped around the apartment getting ready.

Thank goodness for GPS! We found our way to the federal building on Warren street and amazingly, got there on time.

Of course, the building was closed when we got there yet there were people waiting in line. At least the doors did not have bolts on them. It's amazing how the absence of one little detail can make you feel at ease!

I would have posted a picture of the building but it is "forbidden" (i.e. illegal) to take any pictures of the outside or inside of any Homeland Security office. Interesting....

Bioimetrics is such a curious term. Khalid joked that they probably were going to inject him with a little microchip underneath his skin with GPS and surveillance capabilities. One wonders how long it will be before the government actually implements this. Apparently, "they have the technology." (insert cheesy Bionic Man music here.)

Actually, the appointment consisted of having his fingerprints taken, a photograph and his signature validated. His fingerprints will be scanned into a police database. They will compare his fingerprints to any found during unsolved investigations. This has already been done twice before, once when he was convicted of reckless endangerment in 1993-1994, and when he was detained in 2003.

While this was going on I was watching the various people come and go. There were at least three couples, all consisting of an American citizen and an immigrant. One couple was having an extremely hard time because the immigrant didn't have his birth certificate. Apparently, while coming over the border, an immigration official had confiscated it for some unknown reason. Now, the adjustment of status was put on hold waiting for a duplicate copy of the birth certificate and the official translation. There was no telling how long the duplicates would take! The couple was visibly and understandably frustrated and disheartened.

Immigration has most undoubtedly become a nightmare for all of us!

Writing from the heart

Recently, some friends have commented on my blog and wondered how I can write about such intimate feelings and situations. I have to be honest and confess I haven't really thought about this. Although I am aclimated to censoring my verbal output-- like most people-- I am not inclined nor comfortable in censoring my feelings, viewpoints or life story within the blogsphere.

Khalid's bizarre, unreasonable and unbelievable situation with the U.S. immigration system has given me the courage to speak out honestly and vehemently against what is clearly a racist, discrimnatory and elitist beauracracy that elevates irationality to a high art form.` There is no other way to characterize it. This beuracracy has historical ties to white nationalism, xenophobia and nativism.

I am certainly not the first person to identify the current wave of immigrant bashing and the subsequent restrictive and harsh immgration laws as being racist and framed and subsequently implemented by white nationalists. Authors such as Michael Welch, Deepa Fenandes and many others have made similar conclusions. Nor am I the first to label the resulting government institutions that manage immigration and national security as being racist. The logic follows that if the laws that are being implemented are born of white nationalism, xenophobia and racism, then any institution that enforces those laws will be similarly tainted. It's really not rocket science.

What is particularly troubling about contemporary America is how easily racist agendas can be easily summersed under benign rationals that render them platable for the general population. Twelve years ago it would have been unimaginable that the public would sanction detaining black and brown individuals at airports for scrutiny under the guise of national security. Eleven years ago it would have been a scandel if immigrants and their young children were thrown indefinately into prisons without due process. Ten years ago it would have been considered offensive if people were being pulled over by police officers in cars randomly, for no other reason than to ask for documentation. What other concessions are people willing to conceed?

We are at a turning point in our country. I feel it in the air as surely as I feel the ground underneath my feet. Are we going to give in to our basest natures and let brutality, discrimination and facism reign or are we going to resurrect our ideals of freedom, equality and tolerance for all? It is for this reason-- this urgency-- that I cannot sugar coat what I see as a significant detour from the noble aspirations we once held as a nation. We have never been a perfect nation, and will never be. But the foundations of our country, those ideals and values that used to define us as a people and a nation have been foresaken. For this reason I will continue to write from the heart.

Acknowledging prejudice

I recently had a discussion with a friend about acknowledging the fact that all of us have certain prejudices. Just a few hours later I saw a similar posting on a blog that I regularly follow. It's funny how often synchronicity occurs during my life! As I've gotten older, I like to think I've gotten wiser and have learned to make a mental note of these curious occurrences.

Incidentally, I remember a lecture given by a professor years ago. I don't remember what class it was , but it was likely a philosophy or sociology class. The subject was about uncovering your internal prejudices. The professor explained that we all have prejudices--against certain people, races, ethnicity's or even people with certain religions affiliations. No one is immune. It takes a substantial amount of soul searching and honest assessment for a person to unveil their internal prejudices simply because they are covered over by cultural conditioning that we rarely question.

I'll give a personal example--I never knew that I had a bias against Muslim men. I didn't know that I had this prejudice until I met Khalid. My ideas about Muslim men were shaped by American culture and particularly the Western media which normally portrays Muslim men as being controlling, uncivilized, irrational and prone to violence. One such movie that incorporated all of these misconceptions is entitled Not Without my Daughter starring Sally Fields. The following synopsis is taken from the following website:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102555/plotsummary

"Moody" is an Iranian doctor living in America with his American wife Betty and their child Mahtob. Wanting to see his homeland again, he convinces his wife to take a short holiday there with him and Mahtob. Betty is reluctant, as Iran is not a pleasant place, especially if you are American and female. Upon arrival in Iran, it appears that her worst fears are realized: Moody declares that they will be living there from now on. Betty is determined to escape from Iran, but taking her daughter with her presents a larger problem. "

As can be imagined, Moody, the Muslim man portrayed in the story is the worst example of masculinity. He completely dominates his American wife, beats her, forbides her to go anywhere without him and ultimately locks her in the apartment. I remember being horrified that a man could treat his wife in such a way.

This movie had a profound influence on me and how I view Muslim men. I didn't realize this until I met Khalid and he told me he was Muslim. Instantly, that movie began to play in my head, along with numerous other stereotypes we as Americans are indoctrinated in. I hesitated in fear for a moment, wondering if it was wise for me to get involved with this man.

Luckily, I rose above my prejudice and got to know Khalid. What I found was a man who shattered all my previous conceptions about Muslims. Khalid is thoughtful, easy going, open-minded, kind, patient, peaceful and certainly non-violent. My personal experience in getting to know and love Khalid has allowed me to rise above my previously held bias against Muslim men. My life has been made all the richer because of it.

In conclusion, my wish for everyone who reads this blog is to get to know someone who shatters your prejudice. Whatever bias you hold, I sincerely hope that you allow someone into your life that challenges that stereotype. The truth is, no one should be limited by stereotypes and cultural conditioning. We are so much more than the labels placed upon us. We can learn and grow so much more by letting people into our lives, rather than barricaded them outside.

Curiosity confused the cat

Ruby, the curious kitty-- on my chair

In May of this year, Khalid and I adopted a cat from a local humane society. When I looked around at the various animals at this humane society a particular cat singled me out for her attention and I found her enthusiasm and insistent purr to be impossible to resist--so I brought her home. The employees named her Ruby, and we kept the name because it suited her.

Ruby is a sleek black and white kitty who possesses an abnormally long tail with a tiny dollop of white on the end. She looks like she has a pencil flashlight attached to her and she perpetually swishes it around like adoring fans languidly waving their lighters during a rock concert. Additionally, Ruby is vocal--to put it mildly. If she wants food or attention she is not shy about proclaiming it for the entire apartment complex to hear. She obviously enjoys the sound of her own voice and constantly indulges in satisfying the craving. The only time Ruby is silent, is when she is napping.

In this way, having Ruby in the house is akin to having a 2 year old human running around. The only discernible difference being that I could-- theoretically-- control the frequency and duration of a toddler's nap time: I have no such power over a cat. I can't tell Ruby to take a nap, or close her eyes or stop throwing the toy mouse in the air...well I could, but Ruby would likely blink her green eyes in annoyance and ignore me.

Ruby is also very curious...and this highly developed trait has gotten her into some serious trouble. For instance, one time she noticed a large paper bag on the floor. She went to investigate and decided she liked it. She got inside and pawed around: she batted her favorite toy mouse into it a few times, but suddenly she made a kamikaze dive onto it.The resulting loud crinkling sound frightened her. In a panic she turned around to flee but the handles on the bag got wrapped around her neck. She ran furiously around the apartment, all the while with the large paper bag following her and making dreadful crinkling noises.

By the time she ran upstairs the bag was in tatters and Ruby was panting and lounging on the landing with eyes as big as dinner plates. Luckily, she was jittery but unharmed. Since that day, she has looked at any kind of bag with disdain.

Ruby and I share something in common: an acute and terminal curiosity. I've been told by many people this is one of my most conspicuous traits. Although I have never crawled into a bag, panicked and run like a dervish around the apartment --I have done similar impulsive things as a result of my enthusiastic curiosity. Curiosity, like any trait, is a double-edged sword. It can lead to many wonderful discoveries and enrich people's lives, but it can also lead to precarious situations and confusion.

I have always wanted to know how things worked. Well,-- not really "things"-- but people, society and culture. I want to know why some people are "popular" and some people are "maligned" and how culture and society shapes those things. I want to know how morality and customs change --or stay the same between cultures. I want to know why racism, sexism and classism exists and more importantly-- what can be done to alleviate them. (Notice I said "alleviate" not eliminate. We can certainly alleviate these things but I don't believe its possible to eliminate them all together: although eliminating should be the ultimate goal.)

Simultaneously, I've also wanted to know how to make things: draw, paint and master various crafts including embroidery, stamping, and quilling . These two pulls, one between how to "do" certain things, and how to "figure things out" have always duelled within my psyche. In my college career I've vacillated, between majoring in humanities and arts. I want to be an artist and yet at the same time I have a desire to be an academic as well. Previously, I have mislead myself into into believing that I had to choose between the two.

Although curiosity hasn't always killed the cat, it can certainly confuse her.

Alien Nation

This blog post is about a horrific book entitled Alien Nation by a conservative journalist named Peter Brimelow. It was a bestseller when it was published in the year 1995. It is no coincidence that the harsh and discriminatory immigration laws that were passed in 1996 and 1997 were implemented after the publishing of this book. There are a few other wealthy white men who propagated xenophobia at this time, and I will discuss their contributions in a future blog post. However, I argue that Peter Brimelow was the most influential white nationalist at this time because he found a venue to present his message of hate to a substantial portion of the general population.

Studies have shown that xenophobia and racism increase during hard economic times. More competition for fewer jobs creates an atmosphere where it becomes acceptable to marginalize a larger percentage of the population based on race, sex, class and creed. Being the opportunist that he was, Peter Brimlow exploited the recession that hit in the mid 90's and preached an ideology of white supremacy and nativism to a public plagued by strife and uncertainty-- and thereby susceptible to hate and fear mongering.

Interestingly, Peter Brimelow was an immigrant from England; a white immigrant to be specific. Apparently, he did not object to an influx of white/European immigrants However, he could not abide an onslaught of--what he termed-- "unassimiable" black and brown immigrants into this country. Such an onslaught, he argued will "make America an alien nation... a freak among the world's nations because of the unprecedented demographic mutation it is inflicting on itself." (p. XIX)

He goes onto to relate the following:

"...the American nation has always had a specific ethnic core. And that core has been white. A nation, of course, is an interlacing of ethnicity and culture. Individuals of any ethnicity or race might be able to acculturate to a national community. and the American national community has certainly been unusually assimilitive. But nevertheless, the massive ethnic and racial transformation that public policy is now inflicting on America is totally new--and in terms of how Americans have traditionally viewed themselves, quite revolutionary. Pointing out this reality may be embarrassing to starry-eyed immigration enthusiasts who know no history. but it cannot reasonably be shouted down as "racist" or un-American." pg. 10

Throughout his maligned narrative he claims he is not a racist. However, arguing that America has always been white and making inflammatory statements that imply that diverse, multi-cultural societies have always been violent, unproductive and chaotic can only be classified as racist despite his camouflaging rhetoric. Apparently, Brimelow is considerably ignorant about science. Researchers of biology, genetics and sociology have all come to the same conclusion-- diversity makes living organisms stronger and more able to survive in changing environments.

He goes on to say:

"Race is destiny in American politics. It's importance has only been intensified by the supposedly color-blind civil rights legislation of the 1960's--which paradoxically has turned out to mean elaborate race-conscious affirmative action programs. Any change in the racial balance must obviously be fraught with consequences for the survival and success of the American nation. It is simply common sense that Americans have a legitimate interest in their country's racial balance. It is common sense that they have a right to insist that their government stop shifting it. Indeed, it seems to me that they have a right to insist that it be shifted back." p. 26

One can only reluctantly imagine what he meant by shifting "it"--the white majority--back. No doubt he influenced a whole generation of law makers who have maligned immigrants by incarcerating, abusing , raiding their homes and workplaces, and deporting them by the millions. Just how far white nationalists will go to purge the country of "unassimiable" black and brown immigrants is yet to be known.

Those of us with reasonable and enlightened constitutions must be vigilant in the quest to prevent human rights violations against immigrants, a particularly vulnerable population in contemporary American society. Within this current economic downturn and increasing moral panic against immigration; any imagined atrocity, humiliation or castigation is plausible-- and has happened to some immigrant somewhere in the country.

As smart as a monkey

Occasionally, particularly in the beginning of a relationship, your partner will do or say something that goes against convention. It happens in every relationship, but I surmise it happens most often in relationships that comprise one person from a different culture. When one keeps an open mind it is amazing what can be learned within these intersections of diverging perspectives.

I was reminded of one of these enlightening moments this morning when I was eating breakfast. Normally, I have breakfast with Khalid on Sunday's. Quite often he makes a delicious pancake and turkey bacon breakfast. But on this particular Sunday he had arisen early to indulge in a favorite pastime; fishing.

So, here I was, alone, blithely eating my Cheerios and sipping coffee when I reached out to pick up a banana. Without thinking I turned the banana upside down and began peeling it from the bottom.


I never used to peel a banana that way. Like most cultured Americans I had always peeled it from the stem--struggling and cursing the entire time. This is how I was taught as a youngster, this is how everyone I knew had done it. As far as I knew...this was how our ancestors had done it throughout the centuries. Who was I to question it? Never mind that it's extremely difficult to do, or that I usually mash up a sizable portion of the banana. Indeed, I never questioned it until I met Khalid.

One of the first days we had been living together I witnessed Khalid effortlessly peeling a banana from the bottom. I was intrigued...because quite frankly, I had never seen it done that way. I asked him where he learned to peel a banana that way. He looked at me with a quizzical expression on his face. He looked to my serious face and back to the banana. "What??" I believe his reply was.

After some comical deliberation he answered the question by stating simply; that's how everyone does it in Kuwait.

Coincidentally, not long ago I saw a posting about this same topic on the Internet. Interestingly, our distant ancestors--and in this case I am referring to monkeys--peel their bananas from the bottom. Some researchers had apparently gone to some remote location to study the habits of monkeys and had notated this curious fact. One of the points made was the fact that monkeys are considered less intelligent than humans yet a sizable portion of humans, particularly from Western cultures, continue to peel banana's from the stem. So...who is really more intelligent?

It makes me wonder how many things we as Americans do, out of habit and conditioning, that could be implemented in a more efficient or rational way.

This morning, when I noticed I was peeling my banana from the bottom--I smiled to myself and thought: at least I am as smart as a monkey!

A Request from Homeland Security

We received a letter from Homeland Security yesterday. I was the "lucky" one to first spot it in our mail box because Khalid was working late. After a long day at work the last thing you want to see in your mailbox is something from The Department of Homeland Inefficiency. Surprisingly, they weren't as inefficient as I would have liked: we just filed the adjustment of status papers two weeks ago. Darn, why can't government agencies live "down" to their reputations?

Just a mere glimpse of the Homeland Security logo filled my heart with trepidation. There's really no way to describe it. It's one of those things that unless you've been through it, you can't really understand the different levels of fear the human mind can conjure within a split second!

I get the same feeling when we go to the Homeland Security offices in Albany. All Homeland Security offices look like prisons. and of course, the militarized touch pad bolts on the doors don't exactly give the place a warm homey feel. I guess a hand embroidered welcome sign, a tea cozy and lace doilies are not staples in the Homeland Security yearly budget? 'Tis a shame...they get so much money might as well live it up a little.

My hands shook slightly as I reached for the "letter of doom". I was afraid they had decided to reject our adjustment request. So, I was relieved-- when Khalid came home and opened the letter-- to find they were only requesting additional information. Phew!!

They were requesting two things. One is to get some medical testing and vaccinations from a Homeland Security approved doctor. (I guess that Homeland Security sanctioned doctors are the only ones qualified to do such routine examinations--or, more likely,they are the only ones who can botch them up!)

The other request may be a trifle more problematic. They were requesting Khalid's birth certificate. When Khalid was born, India was not issuing birth certificates. Great! So now, Khalid has to prove that India did not issue birth certificates at that time, which shouldn't be difficult. DHS "should" already know that anyways.

Khalid has contacted his Father so he can sign a notarized statement about the lack of a birth certificate and stating that Khalid was born in India, when and where. Additionally, his brother is contacting the Indian embassy to see what they can provide. Ho-hum..there's tons more fun where that came from!

So, stay tuned to find out what else arises. Whatever it is, it will no doubt be an adventure!

Shelving immigration reform

Recently I’ve seen a lot of headlines in the news that proclaim President Obama is shelving immigration reform until 2010. He has said it was more important to get health care reform on track and to deal with energy issues before any meaningful work is done on immigration reform.

To say I am disappointed is an understatement. I had voted for Obama, at least in part, because he promised that immigration reform would be a priority during the first year of his administration. I had hoped that he would at least implement some sort of dialogue about the Family Reunification Act: an amendment to current immigration law statutes which would allow an immigrant facing deportation to stay in The United States if they have a spouse or children who are U.S. citizens. This sounds like a reasonable and prudent law and one that should have never been changed.

Obviously, the passing of this law would help Khalid and I and thousands of couples like us. Now, our hopes are dashed because we don’t think we can wait until next year for immigration reform. Witnessing the quagmire of the current debate about health care reform and the resulting unpleasantness of the entire process, I surmise that immigration reform will be even more difficult to procure.

There are many people who are against immigration reform—or at least any reform that would help immigrants. Unfortunately, I find that the majority of people who are against it are not sufficiently aware of the bigger picture. This is where I want to make a difference. As a result of my blog, I get the sense that I have made changes in a few people’s opinions and this is satisfying—but I don’t feel I am doing enough. I need to reach more people and I’m not sure how to do this.

I would love to make more speeches, but so far the venues I have been in have been small. I feel stuck. If anyone has any ideas about how I can get my message out, please contact me. I will seriously consider any suggestions

Creed in Saratoga

I would like to step down from my immigration reform soapbox, at least temporarily, and talk about the concert I went to last night. Honestly, there are times when I get weary of defining myself by the immigration predicament my husband is in. Understandably, Khalid is even more tired of it then I am, because he's been immersed in it for a longer period. So, occasionally we break conventions and do something just for fun. Imagine that!

A few months ago Khalid purchased tickets to see Creed on August 11th, at Saratoga Performing Arts Center. I like Creed, but since they broke up a few years ago I lost interest in them. So, when Khalid breached the subject with me, I was underwhelmed. I had my heart set on going to a Disturbed concert in Utica. Lacuna Coil was opening for them and the prospect of seeing two of my favorite bands at once was too appealing to ignore. So, like the attentive husband Khalid is, he tried to get tickets: but they sold out in a matter of hours. Creed seemed, at the time, to be a poor substitute for Disturbed and Lacuna Coil.

I was dead tired on our way to the show. I was wondering whether I could enjoy the show because of the fatigue. I always love going to live musical performances. I don't know what it is but they always make me giddy. I can never stand still when I hear good music. I will never understand how audience members can stand still. As soon as the music starts I have to move. Luckily, my fears about being too tired were unwarranted because as soon as Creed stepped onto the stage I was mesmerized-- and, more importantly-- energized!

Creed puts on a spectacular show. The light show is top notch and the musicianship is amazing. Each band member puts their all into the performance. Scott Stapp is a born performer and his stage presence is undeniable. He has a solid rapport with the audience and he clearly loves being the center of attention. There was a gleeful smile on his face for the majority of the hour and a half performance.

The whole concert and light show reminded me of some ancient Pagan festival..with bonfires, drumming and ecstatic rhythmic dancing and chanting. It was great!!

I am going to stoop to superficial observations here..but Scott looked great! I think he looks better now then in the late 90's...compare for yourself:

Ok..well..he looks good in both pictures but I like the mature Scott much better. I can only hope that his behavior has matured along with his looks. His past behavior has been rather erratic and immature.

While watching the concert, I was reminded of some of my favorite things in the world; things that really make life worth living. Such things include warm weather, breezy nights, quality music, being with my husband and watching really good looking, sweaty men in tight leather pants.

Now, if I could only convince my husband to buy some tight leather pants then my life will be complete. I brought up that possibility to him on the way home from the concert last night. He was less than enthused. However, I do not give up easily! hehehehe.....

Melancoly Monday

There are nights when I go to bed, that I wish I wouldn’t wake up. It’s a rare event, but still happens when my optimism is running low. These feelings scare the heck out of me...and they make me fear that I am not handling this situation as well as I hoped.

But, maybe I’m not that unusual. I witnessed a casual conversation between two co-workers today who expressed similar feelings after relating some difficulties in their lives. Life is full of problems and pitfalls—especially in these transformative and uncertain times. Sometimes the burdens seem too great—even for people who seem to have it all together.

Anyways, last night was one of those nights I wish I wouldn’t wake up the next morning. Nothing in particular was responsible for my sad mood. I just started to obsess about losing Khalid. I was exceptionally tired —perhaps that was enough to unleash the melancholy.

Even though I try to hide my melancholy moods from Khalid he always senses when something is wrong. We went to bed at our normal time, turned off the lights and chatted for a few minutes. I fell silent after awhile. He pulled me into his arms and asked if anything was wrong. I said no—but I lied. I felt bad about lying to him--especially since I know he sees through my disguise.

Even if I wanted to explain, or had the words to express myself I knew I couldn’t. There was no way I could add to his already substantial burden. How can I tell him my fears and doubt when he is holding tightly to the last hope we have? How can I speak about my weaknesses when he is so full of strength and life? He will be the one forced to leave and go to a strange land he hasn’t seen since he was a small boy. I get to stay behind in familiar surroundings—but without him.

It’s hard to explain these complex feelings. Khalid is the only rock solid relationship I’ve ever had. He understands me and puts up with my moods. He has given me the strength to do so many things that I didn’t think I was capable of. Because of his support I was able to go back to college and learn how to write from my heart--regardless of what anyone else thought.

Without him, I would not be in the place I am now—which despite the immigration fiasco —is still the best place I’ve ever been. The fact is--despite all my faults Khalid is still there to comfort and love me—as I am. With Khalid there are no ulterior motives, no manipulation: he never expects anything more from me other than my love and acceptance. I’ve never experienced that before in my life.


This self-pity is pure selfishness...I know. There are still plenty of things to look forward to. There are college courses, creating more paintings, sharing laughs with friends, having a successful business,writing endless papers and more blog entries to create. There are movies to see, birthday parties to attend and trips to take. In particular, there’s the hope of a day when Khalid will have his green card and have the opportunity to participate fully and freely in American society. Like a small child awaiting Christmas-- I wait impatiently for that day.


These are all hopeful prospects and I am blessed to have them. But what fills me with the most dread is the possibility that Khalid and I will never be reunited. There will be no more movies, no more birthday parties and no more trips—taken with him. If that fear should ever become a reality, on that night when I go to bed; I will not want to wake up the next morning.

The Prophetic dream

For some reason, I keep bringing to mind a very strange dream that I had a little over a year ago. Historically, I have never been a proponent of dream interpretation for several reasons. Most importantly, my dreams do not make sense. There is little literal meaning I can glean from the random thoughts and images that flash across my inner movie projector. It’s as if some schizophrenic director is leading a macabre circus through a Dali-esque landscape. I don’t think it’s possible to attach any meaning to this chaos.

But after having a particularly vivid dream last year in early July, I may have modified my viewpoints slightly to allow the chance that dreams may actually have meanings, and in rare circumstances; be prophetic.


So, without further ado, this is my dream:

Khalid and I are in his car driving to a destination. The sky is a Wedgewood blue and the sun is shining brightly. After a spending a long time on the road we crossed an old fashioned arched bridge constructed of brown bricks. The bridge spanned a large body of water.

We travelled over the bridge, across the water and arrived on an island. We clearly were not at our expected destination. We consulted a map, but could not locate the island. There were no discernible signs anywhere indicating our location. After awhile we came to what appeared to be a town center. There was a school nearby and a village hall.

Khalid parked in a large lot and I got out of the car. We needed to find out where we were so we could figure out how to get to our destination. I walked to the nearby town hall, expecting to see some sign that proclaimed the name of the town we were in. I found a large, bronze plaque and perused its contents, but there wasn’t a name.

I continued looking for a name, but none was to be found. I turned to one of the busy pedestrians on the street and asked “What is the name of this town?”

She looked at me with a bemused expression and then shook her head. “It doesn’t have a name” she shouted at me. Quickly she skirted past me and disappeared into the middle of the crowd.

Suddenly, I heard a loud sound coming from the parking lot. A violent sound of thunder ensued and reverberated through the quaking ground. A large group of people started to run towards the parking lot.

I pushed through the crowd using my arms as battering rams and willed my legs to move quickly. I could feel the anxiety and fear welling up into my lungs, compelling me to scream--but for some reason I didn't. I knew what happened even before I got to Khalid's car. My husband was struck by lightning. When I finally arrived at the car Khalid’s eyes were closed, his breath was shallow and some blood was trickling out of his mouth. I yelled for someone to get a doctor, but no one moved. No one did anything but kept starring at us. Khalid wasn’t dying, I could tell, but he was badly injured. I knew he needed a doctor. I was determined to find a way out of this town and find help.

I looked over the expanse of water and noticed the bridge had disappeared. In panic I scanned the entire horizon hoping to find that bridge, but it was not there. In fact, there weren’t any bridges to be seen from any direction. The island was completely cut off.

Khalid recovered a bit after awhile but we found ourselves stuck on that island: the island that didn’t have a name. I don’t know how long we were there but it was quite awhile. After a time we noticed a mist was coming over the water from the distance. As it came closer we noticed that three different bridges were materializing from the mist. On those bridges were hundreds of cars and they were driving in the direction of the island. The last thing I remember was feeling an incredible relief wash over me. Finally we could get off the island.

The most interesting thing about this dream was it happened in early July of 2008, right around the time the judges had made a decision regarding Khalid's 2nd circuit court hearing.

Is this prophetic? I don't know exactly. At least the first part seems to correlate with actual events. Khalid being hit by lightening seems to portend the judges decision. The second part, about being stranded on an unnamed island-- might foretell Khalid being in immigration limbo. But the last part I have no idea how to interpret. Does the bridge materializing mean Khalid gets out of immigration limbo? does the relief we feel in the dream mean things will work out in our favor--in the end? What happens to us?

None of these questions will be answered until Khalid's immigration status is rectified..and we have no idea how long that will take. Stay tuned.....

A Distinction Between Aliens

Few people realize that there exists a distinction in immigration law between different types of “illegal aliens”. The media tends to lump all aliens together. Not all aliens are created—or defined equally in the quagmire known as the U.S. immigration judicial system.

As a result of the contemporary wave of xenophobia all “illegal” aliens are criminalized-- even those immigrants who overstay their VISA’s which is legally considered a civil violation. James Sensenbrenner, a U.S. Representative explains in the following quote:

"...under current law, illegal entry into the United States makes an alien subject to a Federal criminal misdemeanor with a maximum penalty of 6 months in prison. However, unlawful presence itself, such as by overstaying a visa, is not a criminal offense, but only a civil ground of inadmissibility...

This distinction really doesn’t make a big difference because both violations are treated the same way in the courts and are likely to end in deportation. The only observable difference is that criminal violations can result in jail time-- which translates into wasteful spending of millions of taxpayer dollars.

Additionally, trials for immigrants, who commit both criminal and civil violations, follow the same scenario. Whether the immigrant has committed a civil or criminal violation they must come before an immigration judge in a separate court system run by the Department of Justice.

The immigration judge conducts the entire trial. He is judge, jury and executioner. The only other people within the room are the accused immigrant, and-- if the immigrant can afford one: an immigration lawyer. The immigration judge asks questions, determines whether the alien qualifies for some form of relief or asylum status. Otherwise, the deportation mandate is normally reinstated or is handed out.

There is no jury-- nor is legal counsel available for the immigrant unless the immigrant can afford one. Consequently, many immigrants are unable to afford legal counsel and are compelled to defend themselves. As imagined, this can be nearly impossible for an immigrant who doesn’t speak English or doesn’t understand American culture.

Additionally, immigration law is very complicated and changes constantly. Most Americans find it difficult navigating in the tumultuous seas of immigration law, imagine how impossible it would be for an immigrant to stay afloat?

Proceedings in immigration court are distinctly different than those conducted in criminal courts. Whereas there are certain safeguards put in place to protect the accused, no such protections are extended to immigrants. Basically, once the accused is charged with a criminal or civil violation of immigration law, it is up to the accused to prove they are innocent.

The idea of “innocent until proven guilty” does not apply in immigration courts. Furthermore, in the past, immigration judges were allowed some leniency in handing out deportation mandates, depending on individual mitigating circumstances. This is no longer true. Judges are now compelled by law to hand out deportations no matter what the circumstances are--unless the alien qualifies for some sort of relief. The granting of relief and the approval of asylum status is rarely meted out.

There has been a movement within conservative groups to make overstay a criminal violation as well. The following excerpt, taken from Deseret News in Utah on 12/30/2005 explains further:

"Right now, illegal aliens are in violation of immigration regulations. Freeway speedsters are bigger scofflaws. But to jack unlawful residency violations up to felonies shows not only callousness, but a lack of imagination on the part of lawmakers. It also displays a complete lack of understanding of the havoc the move will create. If the House has its way, when the student visa of a father of four from India expires, when a tourist from England overstays her welcome or a contracted worker from Colombia doesn't get his papers renewed on time, they become 'desperadoes' -- desperate criminals on a par with the thugs who rob liquor stores at gunpoint. Please. The only desperate souls here are the lawmakers who choose to throw good people in the clink and throw up their hands because they are bankrupt of ideas."

Making overstay a criminal violation poses many problems for lawmakers, not the least of which is determining where to house a substantial influx of more immigrant “criminals”. Maybe we should just reopen Alcatraz for all the immigrants who have suddenly been rendered “dangerous criminals” of the highest order.

It will be interesting to observe how these lawmakers are going to convince the American public to funnel millions of dollars for the jailing of these benign violators of immigration law.


Maybe a more creative solution is appropriate. Perhaps, we should just kick all the rapists, murderers and pedophiles out of our prisons and replace them with the dangerous, degenerate and blood thirsty throng known as “illegal aliens”. tsk tsk...

Like tip-toeing through a mindfield

Khalid and I have made a critical decision. We have decided to file the adjustment of status papers, and the excludibility waiver that should negate his inadmissible status. It has cost us over 1,500 dollars to file all these papers, but it may be our best--and last chance.


Despite the fact that we have gotten some contradictory information about Khalid's ability to file the waivers we are acting on our gut instinct. We have reason to believe that this might actually work. Perhaps, at a later time I will discuss the conclusions that we have come to that have prodded us to act. For now, lets just say that some of the pieces of this perplexing immigration puzzle have finally come into place.

Technically, and legally speaking he should be able to adjust his status with the filing of the excludibility waiver. Basically, this waiver states that he can adjust his status because it has been 15 years since his conviction for reckless endangerment. He has shown himself to be a good and moral individual and has lead an exemplary life since 1993.


I also have a compelling hardship waiver that uses medical, financial and personal statements that prove I would have profound hardships should my husband be deported from the United States.


Additionally, we possess an approved I-130 VISA petition which states that our marriage is bona-fide and allows Khalid back into the country should he be compelled to leave. This is important because we have been told this is one of the hardest documents to procure.


Today we received a notice from Homeland Security notifying Khalid of a Biometric appointment in Syracuse on August 27th at 8:00 AM. Biometrics sounds like a new aerobic routine but it is actually an appointment whereby Khalid's fingerprints and other vital statistics are documented. We may even be interviewed. This is a necessary step in the adjustment of status process.


After the appointment we may be left waiting for 6-7 months until they make a determination. Until that time we will be on pins and needles. It is entirely possible that they will deny the petition and waivers. In that case, we would be forced to reapply when-- and if-- Khalid is actually deported. Yes, that would mean the U.S. government would get an additional 1,500 dollars of our hard-earned money. Gotta love the capitalistic spirit!


The filing of the papers should stop any attempts at deporting my husband. I say "should" because we are dealing with the government, and basically, if they get it in their heads to do something--they find a way.


Because Khalid has an American wife, it should afford him some protections that other deportees do not enjoy. He has noticed some significant changes in how Homeland Security has treated him since being married to me.


But, in the mercurial winds of the U.S. immigration judicial system there is no way of knowing if any of this will do any good. During the entire duration of this precarious immigration situation it feels like we are tip-toeing through a minefield. We never know what small steps we take will result in explosions and detriment and what large leaps might lead to safety and freedom.

We are taking a gigantic leap of faith. What we need more than anything are prayers and good wishes...so please...add us to your prayers this week. Thank you!

Memorial #2: Farouk Abdel-Muhti

Farouk Abdel-Muhti in detention

Farouk Abdel-Muhti was a Palestinian immigrant who made Queens, New York his home. He produced radio programs that were critical of American and Israeli foreign policies. He was also out of status.

Upon being arrested at his home in Queens by FBI officials in 2002, Farouk was transferred from various detention centers, jails and prisons across the country. Transferring detainees multiple times is a common procedure for the Department of Homeland Security. The excuse made for this bizarre behavior is the significant overcrowding in detention facilities. The scope of these harsh immigration laws has made existing detention facilities burst at the seems. It is not unusual for detention facilities, designed for 300 individuals, to house 700 or more.

But a more insidious reason may lurk beneath the surface. Moving detainees multiple times makes it harder for family members, friends or even lawyers to keep track of or visit the detainee. Relatives are not notified when their loved ones are moved and even attorneys are not made aware their client is now incarcerated two states over. Without the support of family members, friends and legal counsel it is more likely the detainee will be deported.

The rate of arresting and incarcerating illegal aliens has expanding much faster than the contractors can build new detention facilities. These new non-violent "criminals" are often housed in county jails and federal prisons alongside dangerous and violent felons.

The following quote is taken from the book Targeted:Homeland Security and the Business of Immigration by author Deepa Fernandes:

"During his two-year detention, Farouk spent eight straight months in solitary confinement in a tiny York County jail cell with no light for twenty-three hours and fifteen minutes per day. He was subject to extensive interrogation and was often denied food. He stated publicly that he was repeatedly abused, physically and verbally. On the rare occasions he was allowed to visit a health clinic, Farouk was handcuffed and shackled. After two years and extensive pro-bono support from the Center for Constitutional Rights, a federal judge ordered that Farouk be deported, charged, or released. As with so many other cases, all the government could accuse Farouk of was being out of status--for which he was treated like a criminal of the worst order." (page 89 of Targeted by Fernandes)

Eventually, after significant pressure from supporters and the hard work of his lawyers, Farouk was released in 2004. He became a tireless activist speaking for social justice and human rights across the country.

Unfortunately,this is a memorial in the traditional sense because Farouk actually collapsed and died after giving a speech in Philadelphia about human rights violations in the U.S. and Palestine. Undoubtedly, the stress and abuse suffered within the various prisons and detention facilities he was held in eventually caused the heart attack Farouk suffered from on that fateful day. It is interesting to note that he was not treated for his heart condition the entire time he was in detention.

May we, who strive to follow humbly in his footsteps, never waiver in our determination to fight discrimination and racism wherever it exists. Whether is shows it's distorted face in distant lands or right here within the land of the "free"-- may we always have the courage to speak truth to power.

Cobblestone & Arbor

Recently I have been thinking of the worst case scenario. In my life, the worst case scenario would involve my husband being deported to India. This is not something I want to dwell on, but I have to.

Preparing for the worst is practical and necessary, but it is scary because there is the fear that thinking about the negative outcome is going to invite it into my life. You often hear life coaches telling you to imagine the positive--don't think about the negative. Just believe that the best is going to occur in your life and it will. If you focus on the negative you invite it to materialize.

I wish life was that simple. All you have to do is think positive thoughts and nothing bad will ever happen to you. Humanity can conquer all evils in the world by just thinking positive thoughts. Strife, death, and illness will simply vanish. Sigh......

I have spent a lot of time recently going over how Khalid's absence will affect my life. In addition to substantial spiritual and emotional strife, there will also be serious monetary concerns. Under certain conditions-- I should be able to cover most of my monthly expenditures, with about four dollars leftover.

This will mean I will be living from paycheck to paycheck, and if any large expenses pop up; such as car repairs or medical expenses I will be in financial trouble.

With that in mind I have to consider getting a second job. This fills me with trepidation because jobs are hard to come by, and the only ones that are available around here are retail. I hate retail jobs for several reasons. They don't pay well, require substantial extroverted skills that I don't possess and involve consumerism. Ick!!

So, I have decided to finally listen to some of my friends who have encouraged me (for years!) to use my artistic abilities to make extra money. With this in mind, I have decided to create watercolor paintings of beautiful houses, particularly old historic homes and B & B's. I have already started a series of colonial houses in Salem, Massachusetts. When the first one is completed I will officially open my new business called Cobblestone & Arbor.

Of course, this would still be a capitalistic enterprise..but it would be my own handmade goods I would be selling and not some manufactured, plastic commodity made by some far away factory workers who are paid 30 cents an hour!

Taking a cue from those life coaches, I will visualize my business as a huge success. Maybe positive thinking will work this time!

Disposable bodies

Grace Chang wrote about the plight of undocumented woman immigrants in her book Disposable Domestics: Immigrant Women Workers in the Global Economy. She characterizes these woman as being disposable for several reasons. The most integral reason is that undocumented workers are necessary for the functioning of American society yet they are simultaneously cast aside for cheaper employees and then run out of the country.

Let me repeat that: undocumented workers are necessary for the stability of the American economy...

As a side note here: woman are particularly exploitable because of their subjugated status in society--yes, even our modern society. The fact that thousands of woman are assaulted, raped and killed in America every year attests to the fact that woman are still considered second class citizens. Furthermore, woman are still paid seventy cents to every man's dollar.

Why does the American economy need undocumented workers? America's economic system is capitalistic. Capitalism always needs surplus labor in order to expand. In capitalistic societies, in order for the consumerist machine to keep functioning it needs to keep a large pool of cheap, highly exploitable workers in the wings for future utilization.

Additionally, different segments of the working population are pitted against each other in an endless competition for the few jobs that are available. Sexism, racism and xenophobia are all societal ills that capitalism uses to its advantage.

This is evident with the observable increase of sexism and racism in economic downturns: like the one we are having now. This inherent competition allows capitalists to continually drive wages down for every worker.

Undocumented workers are the most exploitable and vulnerable workers in America. Employers do not have to offer any benefits, pensions, vacations, or health insurance to these particular employees. More importantly, employers of undocumented workers do not have to follow labor laws.

Additionally, undocumented workers do not get any government assistance in the form of social security benefits, welfare, food stamps, etc. The idea that undocumented workers drain funds from national coffers is a myth.

After the last round of so-called "immigration reform" in the mid 1990's all benefits were withdrawn from undocumented workers. Realistically speaking; undocumented workers prop up the American economy--they do not drain it dry.

Within this new super-capitalistic global economy, woman are not the only disposable bodies. Any black, brown or immigrant worker is also rendered disposable.

America needs to acknowledge its own role in the influx of undocumented workers into our borders and our contradictory attitudes toward them . On one hand we encourage the migration of illegal workers into our country simply because we can not afford to hire natives to do certain labor intensive and menial work. On the other hand we are persecuting the same people for residing and working illegally.

In addition, we need to hold ourselves accountable for the influence America holds within international lending institutions like the IMF and The World Bank. The lending policies of these institutions commonly undermine economic sustainability in developing countries. Many writers including Joseph Stiglitz, former head of The World Bank, has documented these abuses.


Consequently, many world citizens find themselves unable to provide the basic necessities for their families. They have no choice but to migrate to the centers of capitalism in order to survive. Many of them come here to America.

In conclusion, no human being is disposable.