The radio broadcast of my interview with PRI The World aired yesterday. If you would like to hear it just click on the link below. (Hopefully it will work...I don't always have luck with Blogger's linking tool). The article features two other extraordinary and lovely ladies going through a similar experience: Giselle Stern-Hernandez and Emily Cruz.
They basically did a very good job portraying the lives of American citizens dealing with deportation and separation. A few characterizations were flawed but with the complexities inherent in the U.S. immigration system this is to be expected.
So, give it a listen and let me know what you think.
Just copy and paste the following address in you browser..that should get you to the interview.
http://www.theworld.org/2011/09/deportees-wives-club/
Friday, September 2, 2011
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Stomach aches and DHS anxiety
Sometimes I don't catch on to things too quickly. Although I love to read books, explore new ideas and am normally astute in analyzing human behavior, sometimes when it comes to the mundane practical situations of my own life I don't notice things as quickly as I should. In fact, I can be terminally dense.
My husband has been acting oddly for the last week. He's been quieter than usual, sullen and complaining of stomach and back problems. In fact, the last five days he has been getting up in the middle of the night and going over to the spare bedroom to sleep. I don't mind saying that I was feeling a bit rejected. Was I farting in bed? Bad breath? Do I exhibit Terets Syndrome when I sleep? What the heck was going on?? For some reason I just didn't catch on...until this morning...
Khalid rolled on his side in bed and groaned.
I asked: "What's the matter?"
"My stomach hurts."
"Again?" I asked incredulously (he's been complaining of a sour stomach for a few days now)
"Yeah."
Over the next few hours I was contemplating a whole host of scenarios that could explain Khalid's strange behavior over the last week. Was he sick? I asked myself. Was he having a hard time at work? Was he depressed? Sick of me????? (After almost five years of marriage it can happen to even the most loving of couples!) I had no idea what was wrong...
Now, Khalid is usually an early riser. He always gets up before me, but a curious thing happened today. He slept until 9:30 AM!!! He never sleeps that long.
Finally, it hit me! He's acting this way because we have to appear at the DHS office in Albany today and he's worried that something bad is going to happen. BINGO!
I knew that he usually gets nervous when we travel to Albany, but since we learned that India was not recognizing him as a citizen I thought the anxiety had abated a bit. At least he wasn't showing any major anxiety or concern. Usually he was very upbeat about the trip saying "I'm sure everything is status quo and there's nothing to worry about." while turning and smiling at me in a comforting manner."
I now recognize this as an effort to make me feel better. I was still vocal about my trepidation involving going to the DHS office for months after they proclaimed they were not going to deport Khalid. I was so afraid that the government would change their minds and detain and then deport Khalid to god-knows-where.
Apparently, I disregarded the other signs that indicated-- despite Khalid's stoicism--that he was still terrified of going to the DHS office. I ignored the back problems, the getting up in the middle of the night, the stomach ailments; not realizing that they all occurred in tandem a week before we had to visit the DHS office.
How could I be so blind??
And the worst thing about this whole mess is: I can't do anything about it other than holding his hand every time we walk into that damned DHS office in Albany.
My husband has been acting oddly for the last week. He's been quieter than usual, sullen and complaining of stomach and back problems. In fact, the last five days he has been getting up in the middle of the night and going over to the spare bedroom to sleep. I don't mind saying that I was feeling a bit rejected. Was I farting in bed? Bad breath? Do I exhibit Terets Syndrome when I sleep? What the heck was going on?? For some reason I just didn't catch on...until this morning...
Khalid rolled on his side in bed and groaned.
I asked: "What's the matter?"
"My stomach hurts."
"Again?" I asked incredulously (he's been complaining of a sour stomach for a few days now)
"Yeah."
Over the next few hours I was contemplating a whole host of scenarios that could explain Khalid's strange behavior over the last week. Was he sick? I asked myself. Was he having a hard time at work? Was he depressed? Sick of me????? (After almost five years of marriage it can happen to even the most loving of couples!) I had no idea what was wrong...
Now, Khalid is usually an early riser. He always gets up before me, but a curious thing happened today. He slept until 9:30 AM!!! He never sleeps that long.
Finally, it hit me! He's acting this way because we have to appear at the DHS office in Albany today and he's worried that something bad is going to happen. BINGO!
I knew that he usually gets nervous when we travel to Albany, but since we learned that India was not recognizing him as a citizen I thought the anxiety had abated a bit. At least he wasn't showing any major anxiety or concern. Usually he was very upbeat about the trip saying "I'm sure everything is status quo and there's nothing to worry about." while turning and smiling at me in a comforting manner."
I now recognize this as an effort to make me feel better. I was still vocal about my trepidation involving going to the DHS office for months after they proclaimed they were not going to deport Khalid. I was so afraid that the government would change their minds and detain and then deport Khalid to god-knows-where.
Apparently, I disregarded the other signs that indicated-- despite Khalid's stoicism--that he was still terrified of going to the DHS office. I ignored the back problems, the getting up in the middle of the night, the stomach ailments; not realizing that they all occurred in tandem a week before we had to visit the DHS office.
How could I be so blind??
And the worst thing about this whole mess is: I can't do anything about it other than holding his hand every time we walk into that damned DHS office in Albany.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
An antidote to hate
Being an American citizen married to a “documented alien in removal” has its challenges, for sure. Between reporting to Homeland Security offices in Albany twice a year, constantly worrying about how the next batch of anti-immigration laws will affect your life, and dealing with the inevitable trolls who stalk the posts of pro-immigration bloggers and insinuate that only low class, stupid and desperate women/men would marry an “illegal” alien, can turn a person’s hair silver overnight.
Now, I’ve written about the error in using the term “illegal” in referring to immigrants in the past, but it bears repeating again. Most immigrants have not done anything illegal (i.e. crossing the border without inspection nor have most of them ever committed a crime.) In fact, a substantial number of immigrants have only committed a civil violation by overstaying-- not a criminal one; based on U.S. immigration law. To elaborate: overstay is a civil violation constituting an immigrant who has remained in the U.S. after a VISA has expired. Even the term “undocumented” does not accurately describe all immigrants. For instance, my husband has all his documents (i.e. worker’s permit, passport and a social security number) so he cannot be referred to as “undocumented”. Therefore, the characterization of all immigrants without a green card as “illegal” is inaccurate.
None of my friends who blog about deportation could be characterized as low class, desperate, and especially-- not stupid. The women (and men) I have known who are dealing with separation or deportations of a spouse are the smartest, bravest, strongest and most socially aware people I know. I am proud to call them friends and am thankful that they are a part of my life…even though many miles separate us all.
The wonderful connections I’ve made to people who are going through a similar experience are one of the bright spots in the everyday struggle of dealing with deportation. A fellow blogger remarked: “the whole process of dealing with the immigration system in the U.S. is so dehumanizing that the personal connections we foster online with people going through similar situations is mentally and spiritually healing.”
It can be easy to be consumed by anger and fear when you are dealing with the possible separation of you from your spouse. I remember when Khalid and I were going through the most precarious time in our marriage; just after the denial of his second circuit court case and the deportation mandate was issued. Whenever Khalid was late getting home from work, those minutes before he walked through the door were fraught with fear, anxiety and hopelessness. I was so afraid that ICE had apprehended him at work and sent him to detention. If this had happened I would not have been notified. I would not even know where they had taken him. Perhaps I would be one of the lucky spouses that would get a call from my husband or a lawyer days later telling me where he was being held. Otherwise, it is likely that I would not know any specifics until after the deportation process was completed and he arrived in the country of his birth.
Despite all of this turmoil there are positive aspects to this situation: besides making wonderful friendships. The whole immigration system is designed to tear the American citizen and deportee apart. However, a curious thing happens. Amidst all the negativity, barricades, hateful rhetoric and discriminatory policies the bonds between the couple entwine, grow thicker and become stronger. Love stubbornly grows where hate has wrought devastation. This seems to be a universal truth.
I am aware that since my husband and I have gone through this painful process that we do not easily take each other for granted. Many of the petty annoyances that plague my friends’ relationships do not affect us. When threatened with separation you treasure every moment you spend with the other person. Precious time cannot be wasted on insignificant disagreements you will likely forget a week later. You learn to love deeply, completely and forgive easily. Indeed, this seemingly fragile love becomes the strongest antidote to hate.
Now, I’ve written about the error in using the term “illegal” in referring to immigrants in the past, but it bears repeating again. Most immigrants have not done anything illegal (i.e. crossing the border without inspection nor have most of them ever committed a crime.) In fact, a substantial number of immigrants have only committed a civil violation by overstaying-- not a criminal one; based on U.S. immigration law. To elaborate: overstay is a civil violation constituting an immigrant who has remained in the U.S. after a VISA has expired. Even the term “undocumented” does not accurately describe all immigrants. For instance, my husband has all his documents (i.e. worker’s permit, passport and a social security number) so he cannot be referred to as “undocumented”. Therefore, the characterization of all immigrants without a green card as “illegal” is inaccurate.
None of my friends who blog about deportation could be characterized as low class, desperate, and especially-- not stupid. The women (and men) I have known who are dealing with separation or deportations of a spouse are the smartest, bravest, strongest and most socially aware people I know. I am proud to call them friends and am thankful that they are a part of my life…even though many miles separate us all.
The wonderful connections I’ve made to people who are going through a similar experience are one of the bright spots in the everyday struggle of dealing with deportation. A fellow blogger remarked: “the whole process of dealing with the immigration system in the U.S. is so dehumanizing that the personal connections we foster online with people going through similar situations is mentally and spiritually healing.”
It can be easy to be consumed by anger and fear when you are dealing with the possible separation of you from your spouse. I remember when Khalid and I were going through the most precarious time in our marriage; just after the denial of his second circuit court case and the deportation mandate was issued. Whenever Khalid was late getting home from work, those minutes before he walked through the door were fraught with fear, anxiety and hopelessness. I was so afraid that ICE had apprehended him at work and sent him to detention. If this had happened I would not have been notified. I would not even know where they had taken him. Perhaps I would be one of the lucky spouses that would get a call from my husband or a lawyer days later telling me where he was being held. Otherwise, it is likely that I would not know any specifics until after the deportation process was completed and he arrived in the country of his birth.
Despite all of this turmoil there are positive aspects to this situation: besides making wonderful friendships. The whole immigration system is designed to tear the American citizen and deportee apart. However, a curious thing happens. Amidst all the negativity, barricades, hateful rhetoric and discriminatory policies the bonds between the couple entwine, grow thicker and become stronger. Love stubbornly grows where hate has wrought devastation. This seems to be a universal truth.
I am aware that since my husband and I have gone through this painful process that we do not easily take each other for granted. Many of the petty annoyances that plague my friends’ relationships do not affect us. When threatened with separation you treasure every moment you spend with the other person. Precious time cannot be wasted on insignificant disagreements you will likely forget a week later. You learn to love deeply, completely and forgive easily. Indeed, this seemingly fragile love becomes the strongest antidote to hate.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
An alien with no name
Khalid is an immigrant who has no name. Seems strange to write that. All of you are probably thinking: "Well, of course he has a name. You just wrote it in the first sentence: K H A L I D.
Perhaps the semantics I used is confusing. What I meant to say that he has no label. You know, those humiliating, derogatory, inaccurate labels that get placed on immigrants in this country. Words such as "illegal", "border jumper", "undocumented", "unauthorized worker", etc.
I got to thinking about this curious fact when I was being interviewed for the radio program PRI's: The World. The interviewer referred to him as an "undocumented" immigrant--but that isn't a true characterization either. Of course--I was relieved that she didn't use the term "illegal". Luckily she understood that it was a derogatory term and did not apply to a substantial number of immigrants residing in this country.
However, despite recognizing the word "undocumented" as inaccurate, I didn't correct her because I had no idea what term would be appropriate in describing Khalid's immigration situation.
The term "undocumented" refers to a specific type of immigrant who does not have legal documentation in order to work in the United States. Khalid is "documented"; meaning that he has all his papers--a worker's permit, social security number and passports (well--until the DHS confiscated them and subsequently lost them.) and came here under a student VISA.
I suppose the most accurate designation that could be applied to Khalid is "alien" but even that doesn't quite fit. He has been in the United States so long now that he has lost all trace of a foreign accent and has completely acclimated to American culture: so much so that he loves American football,unhealthy native cuisine; high in fats, carbohydrates and sugar, and Hollywood movies filled with dizzying spectacle but low on content-- and like all American men who fear being emasculated, he hates the color pink. You can't get more American then that.(Surely I jest!)
However, this curious fact that I had no label to attach to my husband's situation bothered me. So, one night, while we were sitting in the living room watching "America's Got Talent" (a guilty pleasure!) I turned to him and asked "What are you called?"
He turned to look at me with a quizzical expression on his face and replied "what?" (This is not an unusual trajectory for our conversations.)
I re-framed the question..."you don't fall under the designation of illegal; and undocumented doesn't fit either-- so what term is officially used to describe your situation?
He thought for a moment and said "technically I am called "a documented alien under removal.'"
Wow, that doesn't exactly roll off the tongue! No wonder news people and pundits choose to use the words "illegal" and "undocumented". At least they are simple!
My point here is not to disparage those immigrants who fall under the term "undocumented". My point is to illustrate the myriad complexities inherent in being an immigrant in contemporary America and how they are simplified by misleading and oftentimes inaccurate labels that are woefully inaccurate in describing an immigrant's status.
There is a scientific principle called "Occam's Razor" which loosely has been summarized as "all things being equal the simplest explanation tends to be the right one." (My apologies to any scientists reading this post who are actually versed in this principle and recognize this is a simplified understanding.)
People who are caught up in this diabolic immigration system and the complex situations it engenders will never adhere to this notion of "Occam's Razor". There is never anything simple about the process of being an immigrant in this country. Nor should there be any simplifications in the language used to describe them. Terms such as "illegal", "undocumented", "alien" are ( as I stated earlier) "woefully inaccurate."
In this current era of compounded complexities perhaps the whole idea of "Occam's Razor" is misleading. There doesn't seem to be much simplicity--at least not in our little corner of the world.
Perhaps the semantics I used is confusing. What I meant to say that he has no label. You know, those humiliating, derogatory, inaccurate labels that get placed on immigrants in this country. Words such as "illegal", "border jumper", "undocumented", "unauthorized worker", etc.
I got to thinking about this curious fact when I was being interviewed for the radio program PRI's: The World. The interviewer referred to him as an "undocumented" immigrant--but that isn't a true characterization either. Of course--I was relieved that she didn't use the term "illegal". Luckily she understood that it was a derogatory term and did not apply to a substantial number of immigrants residing in this country.
However, despite recognizing the word "undocumented" as inaccurate, I didn't correct her because I had no idea what term would be appropriate in describing Khalid's immigration situation.
The term "undocumented" refers to a specific type of immigrant who does not have legal documentation in order to work in the United States. Khalid is "documented"; meaning that he has all his papers--a worker's permit, social security number and passports (well--until the DHS confiscated them and subsequently lost them.) and came here under a student VISA.
I suppose the most accurate designation that could be applied to Khalid is "alien" but even that doesn't quite fit. He has been in the United States so long now that he has lost all trace of a foreign accent and has completely acclimated to American culture: so much so that he loves American football,unhealthy native cuisine; high in fats, carbohydrates and sugar, and Hollywood movies filled with dizzying spectacle but low on content-- and like all American men who fear being emasculated, he hates the color pink. You can't get more American then that.(Surely I jest!)
However, this curious fact that I had no label to attach to my husband's situation bothered me. So, one night, while we were sitting in the living room watching "America's Got Talent" (a guilty pleasure!) I turned to him and asked "What are you called?"
He turned to look at me with a quizzical expression on his face and replied "what?" (This is not an unusual trajectory for our conversations.)
I re-framed the question..."you don't fall under the designation of illegal; and undocumented doesn't fit either-- so what term is officially used to describe your situation?
He thought for a moment and said "technically I am called "a documented alien under removal.'"
Wow, that doesn't exactly roll off the tongue! No wonder news people and pundits choose to use the words "illegal" and "undocumented". At least they are simple!
My point here is not to disparage those immigrants who fall under the term "undocumented". My point is to illustrate the myriad complexities inherent in being an immigrant in contemporary America and how they are simplified by misleading and oftentimes inaccurate labels that are woefully inaccurate in describing an immigrant's status.
There is a scientific principle called "Occam's Razor" which loosely has been summarized as "all things being equal the simplest explanation tends to be the right one." (My apologies to any scientists reading this post who are actually versed in this principle and recognize this is a simplified understanding.)
People who are caught up in this diabolic immigration system and the complex situations it engenders will never adhere to this notion of "Occam's Razor". There is never anything simple about the process of being an immigrant in this country. Nor should there be any simplifications in the language used to describe them. Terms such as "illegal", "undocumented", "alien" are ( as I stated earlier) "woefully inaccurate."
In this current era of compounded complexities perhaps the whole idea of "Occam's Razor" is misleading. There doesn't seem to be much simplicity--at least not in our little corner of the world.
A worker's permit is not the holy grail
In light of all the celebrating regarding Obama's proclamation that the government will be reviewing all current deportation cases and granting worker's permits to qualifying immigrants I wanted to take some time to explain what it means to have a worker's permit. I feel this will be helpful information to the thousands of immigrants who will--hopefully--gain a workers permit over the next few month as a result of this new policy. There are certain things a worker's permit entitles an immigrant to; and certain things it doesn't. I don't want to rain on anybody's
parade but I feel it is better to be armed with knowledge rather than just optimism.
My husband has had a worker's permit for years while he has fought his case in the U.S. immigration judicial system. It was granted to him as part of the fees he had to pay to file his appeals. Now, because he cannot be deported and we no longer have any legal avenues left to fight his deportation, he has to apply for a worker's permit every year that he resides in the U.S. This is quite costly and is currently over $400.00 a year. The government reserves the right to increase these fees at anytime. Most years that Khalid has filed for a worker's permit the fee has gone up.
According to the DHS officer who handles Khalid's case, an immigrant who has a worker's permit shows up as having the same status as a citizen in the government's e-verify system. Theoretically speaking that seems to be a positive situation. However, whenever Khalid has applied for another job--unless it's a retail position--the employer always asks if he is a U.S. citizen. Khalid tells the truth and says no. Then comes the inevitable questions..and to make a long story short he is never called back for an interview.
Luckily, my husband already has a stable job as an electrical technician and they are well aware of his immigration status. However, he is not fairly compensated for his electrical knowledge or degree and could get paid a substantial sum more if he could find another job in electrical engineering. In order to make ends meet he has to work two jobs: one as an electrical tech and another in a retail store.
To make a long story short a worker's permit oftentimes only allows an immigrant to procure a very low wage job. It is, in no way, akin to having a green card. Most employers nowadays only want to hire a green card holder, or a citizen. Activists cannot rest until our immigrant friends and family are given an adjustment of status. Anything else is essentially a waste of our time.
parade but I feel it is better to be armed with knowledge rather than just optimism.
My husband has had a worker's permit for years while he has fought his case in the U.S. immigration judicial system. It was granted to him as part of the fees he had to pay to file his appeals. Now, because he cannot be deported and we no longer have any legal avenues left to fight his deportation, he has to apply for a worker's permit every year that he resides in the U.S. This is quite costly and is currently over $400.00 a year. The government reserves the right to increase these fees at anytime. Most years that Khalid has filed for a worker's permit the fee has gone up.
According to the DHS officer who handles Khalid's case, an immigrant who has a worker's permit shows up as having the same status as a citizen in the government's e-verify system. Theoretically speaking that seems to be a positive situation. However, whenever Khalid has applied for another job--unless it's a retail position--the employer always asks if he is a U.S. citizen. Khalid tells the truth and says no. Then comes the inevitable questions..and to make a long story short he is never called back for an interview.
Luckily, my husband already has a stable job as an electrical technician and they are well aware of his immigration status. However, he is not fairly compensated for his electrical knowledge or degree and could get paid a substantial sum more if he could find another job in electrical engineering. In order to make ends meet he has to work two jobs: one as an electrical tech and another in a retail store.
To make a long story short a worker's permit oftentimes only allows an immigrant to procure a very low wage job. It is, in no way, akin to having a green card. Most employers nowadays only want to hire a green card holder, or a citizen. Activists cannot rest until our immigrant friends and family are given an adjustment of status. Anything else is essentially a waste of our time.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Bait-and-switch
Back in 2007,before the second circuit court hearing, the lawyer that was handling Khalid's case called to inform us of some good news. At least it seemed to be good news at the time; basically it was an answer to our prayers: the government was allowing Khalid to adjust his status to that of legal permanent resident. We couldn't be happier. I remember being in the kitchen preparing dinner when Khalid rushed in with an enormous smile on his face.
He said "guess what?"
I replied "what" in an unenthusiastic manner thinking that Khalid was excited only because of a big fishing trip coming up.
"Rather than going through with the second circuit court case, the government is allowing me to adjust my status!"
"What?" I repeated in a bemused tone.
After he sufficiently convinced me that I had heard him correctly I remember breaking down and sobbing. Khalid could not understand my reaction. I was supposed to be happy not wailing like a mad woman.
"I hope your crying because you are happy?" he asked doubtfully.
"Yes, yes I'm happy. I just can't believe they are allowing this to happen! It seems too good to be true."
It wasn't until a few months had passed, and after subsequent consultations with other lawyers that my foreboding was found to be completely warranted.
Due to some procrastination and mistakes the lawyer we had at the time did not file for adjustment of status by the government dead line. Of course we were devastated and resigned to preparing for the approaching hearing of Khalid's second circuit court case in July. Essentially, we were preparing for the worst.
After speaking with another lawyer months later it was plain that we had been duped by the government's offer of adjusting Khalid's status. If we had filed the adjustment of status waivers during that time period we would have been unequivocally denied. Because Khalid would not even be considered for that waiver until 15 years after his "conviction" of reckless endangerment had taken place (As a reminder: Khalid was convicted--actually railroaded-- of reckless endangerment after attempting to defend himself against some thugs that were threatening him while he was working as a taxi driver in Utica back in 1994.)It would be another six months before he would officially became eligible to file for the waiver.
In fact, not only would we have been denied, but there would have been no other option other than having Khalid travel oversees and reapply for the adjustment of status in his native country of India. Of course, we all know that would be impossible since India does not recognize Khalid as a citizen and therefore will not issue him a passport or the travel documents.
The naked truth: the government lied to us and had no intention of adjusting Khalid's status. Instead, the government's intention was to deny his claim and make sure that he could never file the waiver again while residing in this country.
So, I think that I should be forgiven if I react to the recent "happy" news making its way through all the Facebook immigration groups with the skepticism inherent to anyone who has had lengthy experience in dealing with government promises of immigration reform. I just don't believe it until I see it.
If you would like to read about the details of this latest promise I included a link at the bottom of this post.
If it's true then I'm very happy for the my friends who will benefit from this program. But Khalid and I have been fighting this anti-immigrant ideology for far too long (for Khalid its been almost ten years now--for me six years!) that we don't easily fall for the government's bait-and-switch techniques. There always seems to be an ulterior motive in the background of all their promises.
Hopefully, THIS time we will be wrong.
http://news.change.org/stories/major-progress-administration-to-grant-deportation-relief-amidst-mounting-criticism
He said "guess what?"
I replied "what" in an unenthusiastic manner thinking that Khalid was excited only because of a big fishing trip coming up.
"Rather than going through with the second circuit court case, the government is allowing me to adjust my status!"
"What?" I repeated in a bemused tone.
After he sufficiently convinced me that I had heard him correctly I remember breaking down and sobbing. Khalid could not understand my reaction. I was supposed to be happy not wailing like a mad woman.
"I hope your crying because you are happy?" he asked doubtfully.
"Yes, yes I'm happy. I just can't believe they are allowing this to happen! It seems too good to be true."
It wasn't until a few months had passed, and after subsequent consultations with other lawyers that my foreboding was found to be completely warranted.
Due to some procrastination and mistakes the lawyer we had at the time did not file for adjustment of status by the government dead line. Of course we were devastated and resigned to preparing for the approaching hearing of Khalid's second circuit court case in July. Essentially, we were preparing for the worst.
After speaking with another lawyer months later it was plain that we had been duped by the government's offer of adjusting Khalid's status. If we had filed the adjustment of status waivers during that time period we would have been unequivocally denied. Because Khalid would not even be considered for that waiver until 15 years after his "conviction" of reckless endangerment had taken place (As a reminder: Khalid was convicted--actually railroaded-- of reckless endangerment after attempting to defend himself against some thugs that were threatening him while he was working as a taxi driver in Utica back in 1994.)It would be another six months before he would officially became eligible to file for the waiver.
In fact, not only would we have been denied, but there would have been no other option other than having Khalid travel oversees and reapply for the adjustment of status in his native country of India. Of course, we all know that would be impossible since India does not recognize Khalid as a citizen and therefore will not issue him a passport or the travel documents.
The naked truth: the government lied to us and had no intention of adjusting Khalid's status. Instead, the government's intention was to deny his claim and make sure that he could never file the waiver again while residing in this country.
So, I think that I should be forgiven if I react to the recent "happy" news making its way through all the Facebook immigration groups with the skepticism inherent to anyone who has had lengthy experience in dealing with government promises of immigration reform. I just don't believe it until I see it.
If you would like to read about the details of this latest promise I included a link at the bottom of this post.
If it's true then I'm very happy for the my friends who will benefit from this program. But Khalid and I have been fighting this anti-immigrant ideology for far too long (for Khalid its been almost ten years now--for me six years!) that we don't easily fall for the government's bait-and-switch techniques. There always seems to be an ulterior motive in the background of all their promises.
Hopefully, THIS time we will be wrong.
http://news.change.org/stories/major-progress-administration-to-grant-deportation-relief-amidst-mounting-criticism
Monday, August 15, 2011
Letter to a troll
I'm really quite flattered that you have taken the time to read my blog and have written comments. Despite your curt comments to the contrary, you must really find the contents of the blog quite fascinating.
How do I know it's you? Well, you always write two to three short sentences of biting rhetoric that really doesn't have any relevance to the subject of my blog post. I'm sure you spend a great deal of time in the shadows of internet obscurity reading the blogs of people with whom you disagree; writing curt comments and feeling quite proud of yourself for insulting people who have already experienced a copious amount of pain and sorrow. No doubt, this makes you feel powerful and superior.
What does this tell me about you? Quite a lot really. It tells me that apparently you have a lot of free time on your hands. Most people are far too busy with their lives to bother stalking the blogs of people with whom they share little in common. I cannot understand the purpose behind your comments. Are you trying to end my marriage? Are you intent on showing me the error of my ways? Do you think your comments will change how I live or see the world? I honestly don't know why you would spend so much time on people you obviously feel are beneath you.
What I am sure of: When I married Khalid I did not marry down as you incinuate--I actually married up! I will leave that exclamation to stand alone without further comment.
I am also sure of one other thing: in order to say the things that you do it is obvious that you do not have love in your life. There is nothing more wretched then not feeling loved and cared for. I know how that feels. I did not know how it felt to be loved until I meet Khalid at the ripe old age of 38. His love completely changed my life and my world for the better. Although my life is not easy-- nor uncomplicated-- it is full and rich. I would not change one minute of the time Khalid and I have spent together.
So, my dear troll: this is the wish I have for you: I want you to find love--the kind of deep, heart seering love that makes your knees weak, your head spin and your veins pulse. I want you to be inspired to lay your life down for someone, to give up your selfishness and petty desires for the needs of someone else, to become a better person. I bessech you to be willing to show your ugly scars, demons and humbling insecurities to someone. Most of all, I wish you the kind of love that alters the very essence of your being, challenges your preconceived notions of reality, and gives you the courage to leave everything familiar behind.
If you experienced this kind of love you would not need to feel powerful or superior to anyone else. Purhaps you would be inspired to make this a better world for others rather than spending an unprecedented amount of time tearing others down.
One can only hope.
How do I know it's you? Well, you always write two to three short sentences of biting rhetoric that really doesn't have any relevance to the subject of my blog post. I'm sure you spend a great deal of time in the shadows of internet obscurity reading the blogs of people with whom you disagree; writing curt comments and feeling quite proud of yourself for insulting people who have already experienced a copious amount of pain and sorrow. No doubt, this makes you feel powerful and superior.
What does this tell me about you? Quite a lot really. It tells me that apparently you have a lot of free time on your hands. Most people are far too busy with their lives to bother stalking the blogs of people with whom they share little in common. I cannot understand the purpose behind your comments. Are you trying to end my marriage? Are you intent on showing me the error of my ways? Do you think your comments will change how I live or see the world? I honestly don't know why you would spend so much time on people you obviously feel are beneath you.
What I am sure of: When I married Khalid I did not marry down as you incinuate--I actually married up! I will leave that exclamation to stand alone without further comment.
I am also sure of one other thing: in order to say the things that you do it is obvious that you do not have love in your life. There is nothing more wretched then not feeling loved and cared for. I know how that feels. I did not know how it felt to be loved until I meet Khalid at the ripe old age of 38. His love completely changed my life and my world for the better. Although my life is not easy-- nor uncomplicated-- it is full and rich. I would not change one minute of the time Khalid and I have spent together.
So, my dear troll: this is the wish I have for you: I want you to find love--the kind of deep, heart seering love that makes your knees weak, your head spin and your veins pulse. I want you to be inspired to lay your life down for someone, to give up your selfishness and petty desires for the needs of someone else, to become a better person. I bessech you to be willing to show your ugly scars, demons and humbling insecurities to someone. Most of all, I wish you the kind of love that alters the very essence of your being, challenges your preconceived notions of reality, and gives you the courage to leave everything familiar behind.
If you experienced this kind of love you would not need to feel powerful or superior to anyone else. Purhaps you would be inspired to make this a better world for others rather than spending an unprecedented amount of time tearing others down.
One can only hope.
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