An antidote to hate

Being an American citizen married to a “documented alien in removal” has its challenges, for sure. Between reporting to Homeland Security offices in Albany twice a year, constantly worrying about how the next batch of anti-immigration laws will affect your life, and dealing with the inevitable trolls who stalk the posts of pro-immigration bloggers and insinuate that only low class, stupid and desperate women/men would marry an “illegal” alien, can turn a person’s hair silver overnight.

Now, I’ve written about the error in using the term “illegal” in referring to immigrants in the past, but it bears repeating again. Most immigrants have not done anything illegal (i.e. crossing the border without inspection nor have most of them ever committed a crime.) In fact, a substantial number of immigrants have only committed a civil violation by overstaying-- not a criminal one; based on U.S. immigration law. To elaborate: overstay is a civil violation constituting an immigrant who has remained in the U.S. after a VISA has expired. Even the term “undocumented” does not accurately describe all immigrants. For instance, my husband has all his documents (i.e. worker’s permit, passport and a social security number) so he cannot be referred to as “undocumented”. Therefore, the characterization of all immigrants without a green card as “illegal” is inaccurate.

None of my friends who blog about deportation could be characterized as low class, desperate, and especially-- not stupid. The women (and men) I have known who are dealing with separation or deportations of a spouse are the smartest, bravest, strongest and most socially aware people I know. I am proud to call them friends and am thankful that they are a part of my life…even though many miles separate us all.

The wonderful connections I’ve made to people who are going through a similar experience are one of the bright spots in the everyday struggle of dealing with deportation. A fellow blogger remarked: “the whole process of dealing with the immigration system in the U.S. is so dehumanizing that the personal connections we foster online with people going through similar situations is mentally and spiritually healing.”

It can be easy to be consumed by anger and fear when you are dealing with the possible separation of you from your spouse. I remember when Khalid and I were going through the most precarious time in our marriage; just after the denial of his second circuit court case and the deportation mandate was issued. Whenever Khalid was late getting home from work, those minutes before he walked through the door were fraught with fear, anxiety and hopelessness. I was so afraid that ICE had apprehended him at work and sent him to detention. If this had happened I would not have been notified. I would not even know where they had taken him. Perhaps I would be one of the lucky spouses that would get a call from my husband or a lawyer days later telling me where he was being held. Otherwise, it is likely that I would not know any specifics until after the deportation process was completed and he arrived in the country of his birth.

Despite all of this turmoil there are positive aspects to this situation: besides making wonderful friendships. The whole immigration system is designed to tear the American citizen and deportee apart. However, a curious thing happens. Amidst all the negativity, barricades, hateful rhetoric and discriminatory policies the bonds between the couple entwine, grow thicker and become stronger. Love stubbornly grows where hate has wrought devastation. This seems to be a universal truth.

I am aware that since my husband and I have gone through this painful process that we do not easily take each other for granted. Many of the petty annoyances that plague my friends’ relationships do not affect us. When threatened with separation you treasure every moment you spend with the other person. Precious time cannot be wasted on insignificant disagreements you will likely forget a week later. You learn to love deeply, completely and forgive easily. Indeed, this seemingly fragile love becomes the strongest antidote to hate.

A worker's permit is not the holy grail

In light of all the celebrating regarding Obama's proclamation that the government will be reviewing all current deportation cases and granting worker's permits to qualifying immigrants I wanted to take some time to explain what it means to have a worker's permit. I feel this will be helpful information to the thousands of immigrants who will--hopefully--gain a workers permit over the next few month as a result of this new policy. There are certain things a worker's permit entitles an immigrant to; and certain things it doesn't. I don't want to rain on anybody's
parade but I feel it is better to be armed with knowledge rather than just optimism.

My husband has had a worker's permit for years while he has fought his case in the U.S. immigration judicial system. It was granted to him as part of the fees he had to pay to file his appeals. Now, because he cannot be deported and we no longer have any legal avenues left to fight his deportation, he has to apply for a worker's permit every year that he resides in the U.S. This is quite costly and is currently over $400.00 a year. The government reserves the right to increase these fees at anytime. Most years that Khalid has filed for a worker's permit the fee has gone up.

According to the DHS officer who handles Khalid's case, an immigrant who has a worker's permit shows up as having the same status as a citizen in the government's e-verify system. Theoretically speaking that seems to be a positive situation. However, whenever Khalid has applied for another job--unless it's a retail position--the employer always asks if he is a U.S. citizen. Khalid tells the truth and says no. Then comes the inevitable questions..and to make a long story short he is never called back for an interview.

Luckily, my husband already has a stable job as an electrical technician and they are well aware of his immigration status. However, he is not fairly compensated for his electrical knowledge or degree and could get paid a substantial sum more if he could find another job in electrical engineering. In order to make ends meet he has to work two jobs: one as an electrical tech and another in a retail store.

To make a long story short a worker's permit oftentimes only allows an immigrant to procure a very low wage job. It is, in no way, akin to having a green card. Most employers nowadays only want to hire a green card holder, or a citizen. Activists cannot rest until our immigrant friends and family are given an adjustment of status. Anything else is essentially a waste of our time.