Reclaiming a latent talent

I’ve always been known for being an expert sleeper. When I was a child I could literally sleep in any position, sitting up, on my head, scrunched up in a doll’s crib, and even upside down. I could fall asleep in the car, amongst a loud group of people and while listening to heavy metal music. Nothing-- I repeat nothing-- would get between me and a good night’s sleep. (or a good nap)

It hasn’t been until recently, that I’ve become aware of how my talent for sleeping has been compromised. Since about 2006, when I became aware of Khalid’s immigration situation, my penchant and talent for sleep has gone awry. It’s not that I have shunned practicing. On the contrary, I was horribly distraught and tired most of the time. As a result I coveted the peace that sleep time brings.

But apparently, when the chores of the day were completed, and my head hit the pillow, I was unable to quiet my mind. I incessantly obsessed over the dark tidings the future had in store for us. It seemed it was fated that my husband and I would be separated and every night was spent wondering whether this would be the last night we would spend together.

I have spent four years worth of unrelenting and merciless nights-- tossing and turning, pondering, anticipating and surmising the worst. I have caught only the briefest glimpses of the ever-flickering fragments of my nightmares because I would awake intermittingly throughout the night.

I was exhausted, annoyed, anxious and angry most of the time. The worst part of all is—I didn’t know it. I thought--despite the circumstances—that I was doing fine.

I didn’t know any different until the last visit we made to Homeland Security and the Deportation Officer admitted they could not obtain the travel documents to India. That night I slept like the dead. There was no tossing, no turning and no waking up during the night.

In fact, every night since that day I have known nothing but peace during the night. Besides having my husband by my side, peace is the most valuable element in my life.

Oh--and also the satisfaction of reclaiming a latent talent...